grandparents
grandson hugs? This mother steps on the grandparents’ brakes
Grandchildren and grandparents mostly love hugs and little kisses – nevertheless the child should be in control.
It’s actually normal for grandparents to hug their grandchildren – but an Australian mother has a very important objection. Her statement on TikTok quickly spread around the world.
What happened?
Australian mother Brittany Baxter is very careful to teach her children the right to physical self-determination. When she realized that most adults didn’t stick to it, she posted a little angry speech on TikTok. Her conclusion: grandparents and adults in general should ask the child for permission before any tenderness.
ohh At first glance, that sounds pretty radical.
Well, the reaction was pretty mixed: the video went viral around the world and was celebrated by thousands of mothers. And at the same time, at least as many grandparents were quite offended that they were suddenly being asked to follow such strict rules when dealing with their grandchildren. If the relationship within the family is good and cordial – why all of a sudden these unfamiliar rules?
Isn’t it really an exaggeration to even talk about “physical self-determination” in this context? This is about small children, who usually love their grandparents very much.
To put it another way: When would it not be “exaggerated” to demand a right to deal with one’s own body? Everyone has the right to choose when and how they want to be touched – and that includes parents, grandparents or siblings.
I think it’s a bit crass to let such a general suspicion resonate subliminally.
Not a bit, on the contrary: The family, including the grandparents, are usually the safest point of reference that children have and are also a great role model in dealing with the world. This is the safest place for them to learn and try out how to set boundaries. If they don’t feel like hugging (bad mood, stomach ache, for whatever reason) they can refuse it – and still have the basic trust that the family will of course continue to love them.
But somehow it is still very unusual for many grandmas and grandpas.
Grandparents may of course find that funny, but they are still doing the grandchild a favor if they briefly say “May I?” before kissing or hugging. ask. Because only children who have internalized that they can say “no” at any time will not later accept aggressive actions from other adults – or even later than from their own partner. In the video, Brittany explains very convincingly why the concept of the right to bodily self-determination cannot be taught too early.
OK, that’s an important point.
And seriously, who wants a hug from their grandchild just because it’s polite? Either from the heart or not at all!
Source used: TikTok.com