“My belly suddenly came out”

Denial of pregnancy is a medical term used for women who learn of their pregnancy from the fifteenth week of amenorrhea. We distinguish partial denial of pregnancywhere the woman learns that she is pregnant just after the first trimester of pregnancy and on the other hand total denial of pregnancy, it is almost at the time of childbirth that the woman learns that she is pregnant. In France, this is not an isolated phenomenon, the French Association for the recognition of the denial of pregnancy estimates that the number of women affected is between 1500 and 3000 every year and 38% of them are total.

Camille is one of them, at only 19 years old the young carer experienced total denial of pregnancy. Many complications followed this announcement, the young mother did not expect to have to go through such ordeals again. 4 years after giving birth. She tells us about her obstacle course for life.

“I was hospitalized immediately”

“I was 19 when I had Lily-Rose, I learned the February 13 that I was pregnant and I gave birth on March 9, everything was turned upside down. I made a denial of pregnancy, in February I waited for my period which did not arrive. I took a pregnancy test which was positive, at that time I had been with my boyfriend for a few months so we made an appointment for an abortion. At this ultrasound, the gynecologist tells me that it is an advanced pregnancy, I was at 26 SA and from there everything was very fast.

When I left the consultation, my stomach suddenly swelled. I went back to work but being a carer I had to quit, everyone was in shock. I had to come back in the evening for tests, my baby’s life was at stake. I was hospitalized right away, because they discovered that I had preeclampsia. With the denial of pregnancy, my baby was poorly developed and she weighed three times less than she should be at that time, it was 500 grams instead of 1.5 kilos. She had no amniotic fluid so all the ultrasounds were completely black, couldn’t tell if my baby was formed. We only knew that she had a backbone, I was totally lost. With all that, I didn’t have time to realize what was going on.”

“My baby was alive and developing really well, it was unexpected”

“After that I had weeks of hospitalization, numerous treatments to get Lily-Rose to develop to the fullest, it was exhausting for both of us. When I met the pregnancy denial specialist, he told me that my baby was on the mend and that in the days that followed, she would not survive. I was told of imminent death, it was very violent for us. The psychologists came to talk to us our baby’s funeral the whole process had begun, we had to mourn. It was unthinkable for me, two weeks before I was at work and I was living my life normally.

Then we were left 4 days in total blur, without monitoring, without control, I was just asked if I could still feel my baby moving. When they decided to do an ultrasound again, they realized that my baby was alive and developing really well, it was unexpected! They resumed the treatments and they gave themselves a few weeks to see. It was really a roller coaster we didn’t know what to think anymore.”

“I came close to the end of the tunnel”

“On March 8, my blood pressure goes up to 23 because of preeclampsia, I hear nothing more, I see nothing more and an army of doctors arrives. I really panicked, they hooked me up everywhere, they gave me drips to save me. I came close to the end of the tunnel. They called Lily-Rose’s dad to find out if they should save me or save the baby, this moment traumatized us a lot. The next day my analyzes were still not good so they told me that I was going to have a emergency caesarean section. At that time we did not know if our daughter was going to survive, we agreed to resuscitation, but as far as possible. We didn’t want totherapeutic relentlessness.”

“Lily-Rose was born at 29 weeks plus 6 days.”

“My daughter came out viable, but in cardiac arrest, resuscitation lasted two minutes, it was so scary, the longest minutes of my life! We met her two hours later, she weighed 642 grams for 27 cm, she held us in her hand. Lily-Rose was born at 29 weeks plus 6 days. The doctors did not comment on the days after, I was very worried. In the end she came out of it like a boss, she gained weight little by little even if she remained two and a half months in intensive care. I stayed 10 days after giving birth and I went home. We were well supported by great nurses, it helped us a lot!

Despite the shock of the three short and intense weeks after the discovery of my pregnancy and the apprehension of this new life at not yet 20 years old, I loved my daughter from the first moment. I had no trouble finding my place, it immediately became my priority. As soon as she arrived, I immediately had a protective mum instinct and unconditional love for her.”

Parenting writer

Zoé is on a work-study program, she joined the aufeminin team in September 2022, she writes for the parenting section. Committed and curious, Zoé likes to write to advance…