"I hate you"
7 children's sentences that hurt us mums deeply – and how we can react
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"My child hates me!" Think some mothers when they hear their children insulted. Don't worry – you are not alone.
Oh yes, children arouse completely new emotions in us. When we hold her in our arms for the first time, we feel pure happiness – and at this point in time, with the best will in the world, we cannot imagine that this little, dearest being could ever hurt us. Until suddenly it is four years old and in the middle of toddler puberty. Then we notice: Yes, these little magical creatures can not only get angry, but also get really bad!
The wrath of a young child is not to be trifled with. All parents know this at the latest after the first fit of anger. Because we not only notice how much anger there is in the little ones – but also what power they have over our feelings. Hand on heart: Even if we know that they don't mean it, the first "I hate you!" hurts like hell
So if you are wondering if your child really hates you right now, you can breathe a sigh of relief: You are not alone. And together we also manage to cope with the force of the outbursts in mom's everyday life. We have collected the seven worst children's sentences that parents have had to listen to.
7 children's sentences that hurt parents
"I hate you"
The classic. And for children mostly the strongest word they know. They still have to learn what power "hate" has.
"Mom / Dad is stupid"
…closely followed by…
"I like mom / dad much better than you!"
Every child goes through the mom / dad phase – but it also passes again!
"You don't love me at all"
Phew, after all, when we stab it in the heart, we immediately know that the child is wrong.
"If you only work all the time, you shouldn't have got yourself children"
Hui, always remember: the lockdown is nerve-wracking. You are doing great!
"No, you mustn't do that, you go to work!"
And when you then want to make it up to you, something is thrown around your ears again: How you do it, you do it wrong.
"Then I'm not inviting you to my birthday!"
Well then, mum won't bring a cake either!
And how do I react if my child insults me?
- Take a deep breath. Even if we would sometimes like to counter something mean – we prefer to swallow that.
- Be honest. But what we can say is that the sentence hurt us. In this way, children learn to put themselves in their parents' shoes – and that their words have consequences.
- To ask. Yes, it is not always easy to enter into discussion with the child, but it helps parents and child to understand their feelings. So next time we just ask: why? At best, this is how we distract from the anger.
- Understand. Behind the outbursts of anger there is usually an unfulfilled wish, be it for closeness or toys. The child does not yet know what to do with his dissatisfaction. Becoming aware of the cause of the offense and mirroring it to the child can help not to take things personally.