Bisexuality still suffers today from stubborn clichés. Bisexual people face many fantasies and prejudices, sometimes referred to as "biphobia", including within the LGBT + community. Testimonials.
For some, she " does not exist ". For others, she's just a "Passage", a " trend ". Bisexuality, or being attracted to people of both sexes, is still the subject of many preconceived ideas that die hard. Long marginalized and unrecognized, this sexual orientation suffers cruelly from its invisibility, which reinforces and encourages clichés.
Latent biphobia that is difficult to detect
In 2019, bisexual people were targeted by 485 cases, including 106 specifically biphobic cases and 379 expressions of general LGBTIphobia, according to a report published in 2020. People under the age of 18 are the most affected (24%). Manon, 16, tells us: “My brother gets biphobic remarks about me in college, his friends follow me on social media, and they don't think I'm 'normal'. My brother agrees with them and asks me very regularly "are you back to normal?" I admit that at times I blame myself for being "like that", for not fitting into the mold .. " This need to choose which causes the pain of living is the result of a true internalized biphobia.
Véronique Godet, co-president of SOS Homophobie, explains that biphobia is "A discrimination, a violence, an aggression that we will manifest against people who self-define as being". Biphobia is more difficult to detect because it often manifests itself in homophobic acts, without "No insult that is properly biphobic" according to research from the national survey on bisexuality in France, carried out in 2013. Thus, it is often denied, which makes the specificity of biphobic discrimination and the experience of bisexual people invisible.
For Luka Mongelli, co-president of the Bi'Cause association and Elena Mascarenhas, delegate Bi, Pan and more at Inter-LGBT, "There is a certain idea that biphobia is the same as homophobia, that we are simply discriminated against regarding our supposed 'gay party'." They add : "We indeed suffer from discrimination similar to that of homosexuals, but in addition we are victims of prejudices concerning a so-called indecision, infidelity …"
Biphobia is difficult to detect, but even more so: it is complicated to report
The co-chair of SOS Homophobie is formal: "Biphobia exists and ranges from jokes that are meant to be humorous to harassment and discrimination". For Valentine, 27, biphobia is difficult to identify, “But even more: it is complicated to denounce. Directly, and from all camps (biphobes and within LGBT), we are often accused of making money for "not much". "
According to the national survey, biphobia will be based more on preconceived ideas or clichés than insults. " Regarding beautiful women, there are many clichés, especially from straight men who are looking for "threesomes", it may not seem to be discrimination for some people, but it is stigmatizing, and participates in harassment sexual, in a framework of patriarchal oppression which shows practices that are both sexist and discriminating against people bies and pan ” analyze Luka and Elena from Bi'Cause. A cliché that comes up in all the testimonies of the women we interviewed. "I almost gave in several times because the pressure was so strong and recurring, and once my sexual attractions were said, these guys gave me the impression of living only through that" says Valentine.
Many clichés that persist
Among the stubborn clichés is the idea that this sexual orientation is only a "kind of phase", a transition to homosexuality. "If I said I was bisexual, it was because I had not yet managed to choose between a man and a woman, and that I would end up being either straight or a lesbian" says Anne, 16 years old. A persistent cliché that can be heard equally well with straight people and gays. Lola, 19, has already suffered several remarks from a lesbian friend: "She didn't care that I was dating a boy and said I was just a repressed lesbian." For Véronique Godet, "Bi people are discriminated against both by straight people who find they cannot make up their minds and by gays or lesbians who will cry treason".
Another prejudice? Bisexual people are more likely to be unfaithful. Clichés that the figures reflect: 61% of French people say they are not ready to engage in a serious relationship with a bisexual. "I've already been told that bisexuality is a kind of polygamy, an excuse to date two people at the same time and therefore when dating a woman, you will inevitably cheat on her with a man and vice versa" Manon confides. Finally, another recurring trait in the testimonies is the hypersexualization which is often the victim of sexual intercourse. Valentine testifies: “There are the fits of jealousy. "You're bi, so I have to beware of everyone" omitting that no, in fact, I don't want everyone ". She continues: “Beyond verbal violence like that, there is physical violence. "Behave like a girl, show me, kiss this girl", that was once in a club, with my ex who squeezed my arm until I bruised. "
Elena Mascarenhas and Luka Mongelli note: "It is an image that circulates, which intersects with a certain ordinary homophobia in which some people will think that a bie person will prefer to appear as a straight couple, and so that if a homo person starts a relationship with a person. Bie or pan, she is more at risk of being dumped… We thus find on dating applications "bi abstain" ".
'Behave like a girl, show me, kiss that girl', that was once in a club, with my ex who squeezed my arm until I bruised.
And what about male bisexuality, which shakes the codes of traditional masculinity? “In people's minds, the 'bi' box doesn't even exist. I would also add that as a bi man the pressure to embrace the dominant male model is twofold. Women AND gays don't want sissy guys. I often say that if tomorrow I chose to embrace toxic masculinity, I would be more successful with both women and men. When we say that patriarchy also oppresses men, this is the perfect example " regrets Antoine *, 26 years old. However, if female bisexuality seems better accepted, it is only through the prism of the heteronormative male fantasy.
Lack of visibility and representation
Rare in the series, bisexual characters are often debated. And for good reason, pop culture perpetuates the clichés about female bisexuality: deception, threesome … So many narrative arcs dominated by the famous male gauze. We can nevertheless say thank you to Shonda Rhimes who allowed a representation of the fair and racialized women never before seen: Annalize Keating in Murder and Calliope Torres in Grey’s Anatomy. In recent years, the LGBT + community has found increasing visibility in the media landscape. Recently, Disney presented its very first bisexual heroine in the animated series "Luz in Osville". Véronique Godet of SOS Homophobie also talks about the cross-Channel series The Bisexual, which tells the story of a thirty-something bie faced with prejudices about her orientation.
"When you see that Angela has been outraged, you tell yourself that the role of the media is not always to raise awareness in a positive way, but sometimes to create a buzz with someone's sexual orientation"
The male characters bis remain, for their part, under-represented in the series. "I think the first time I saw a character on screen with a bit of complexity about his sex life was in Coeur Océan on France 2, remembers Antoine. His relationship with Cynthia was not used as a subterfuge to initiate his coming out (as we can see in Call Me By Your Name, Love Simon or Love Victor more recently). It's the kind of role that feeds biphobia and once again narrows the specter of sexuality to two entities: straight and gay. " For the young man, the series Insecure, illustrates the biphobia suffered by bisexual men. “Molly's character falls for a boy. She confesses to this boy that he has kissed a girl before when she was drunk, and he responds by saying that he has already received a fellatio from another man on a heavy drinking night too. Immediately Molly steers and breaks. She now sees him only as a repressed gay. This is the biggest cliché in my opinion. Male sexual fluidity doesn't even seem to exist in her mind ” he analyzes.
Across the Atlantic, several figures of pop culture, such as actresses Amber Head, Kristen Stewart or Angelina Jolie, have come out bisexual, helping anonymous people to better assume their sexual identity. In France, we must above all look on the side of reality TV candidates, such as the iconic Loana or more recently, Fanny Salvat as Anne mentions: "I found it beautiful and brave that somebody finally talked about it publicly, especially in the reality TV world".
For Véronique Godet, the media have a role to play in the trivialization of bisexuality. But you still have to adopt the right one. "When you see that Angela has been outraged, you tell yourself that the role of the media is not always to raise awareness in a positive way, but sometimes to create a buzz with someone's sexual orientation."
* The first name has been changed
To find the Bi'Cause association: bicause.fr
Gathering for the JIB, the International Visibility Day for Bi people, and Pan, and + on Wednesday September 23, 2020 at 6.30 p.m. Place Edmond Michelet, 75004 Paris.
SOS Homophobia, anonymous helpline: 01.48.06.42.41