In the series The Chronicle of the Bridgertons, the main character admits to always thinking of his partner while stroking himself. But if you think of Brad Pitt or his ex, does it matter?
The Bridgertons' Chronicle has been a hot topic since its release on Netflix, and the (many) sex scenes have something to do with it. Watch out for spoilers if you haven't seen the series yet!
In one of the scenes, Duke Simon encourages Daphne, the main heroine, to masturbate to explore her sexuality on her own. A very difficult scene has turned according to Phoebe Dyvenor. “It was the most difficult scene to shoot. And that really means something, because there were a lot of difficult scenes to shoot. We feel very vulnerable during these scenes ”, said the 25-year-old actress in the columns of Glamor UK. A few episodes later, the Duke asks Daphne what she was thinking while masturbating. This one answers: " I was thinking of you. I still think about you ". If the exchange is more than romantic, what about the true life ? What do you think of while masturbating?
What do we (really) think about while masturbating?
Like Daphne, should you constantly think of your partner while stroking? Claire Alquier, couple therapist and sex therapist answers straight away: “No, you don't necessarily have to think about your partner. We owe nothing at all, in fact! ". According to figures from the 2019 TENGA report on solitary pleasure, 49% of French women who masturbate appeal to their imagination and fantasies, while 72% of men watch porn. "If there is a place where fantasies can exist, and the essence of fantasies is not always to be fulfilled, it is in these moments of solitary pleasure", argues the sex therapist. 28% of French people say that they think of their current partner when they masturbate, while almost half (46%) think of their ex. For the therapist, there is nothing to worry about if one agrees to think of other situations and other people than his / her beloved. "We are free to have the subtlety and finesse to keep for ourselves what cannot be shared, and to share precisely what can serve as a match for excitement", she specifies. Masturbation is that little moment of your own, where you give yourself the right to pleasure, without retention and without the weight of social norms.
Video : Why masturbating when in a relationship is normal and healthy
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Erotic virtues for the couple
Opening the discussion on partner masturbation can be interesting. "It can serve as development, erotic potential, because yes, we can also think of our partner", says Claire Alquier. Like the heroine of The Bridgertons, "Talking about masturbation sessions to each other can be exciting, so why not! ", adds the sex therapist. Sophie *, 23, often tells us that she thinks about her partner while masturbating. "I mostly remember our best shots, but I also sometimes fantasize about what he could do to me, on things that we have not yet tested, like the threesome! " Thinking about your own experiences and rekindling memories can indeed be a great source of excitement for some. Remember that fantasies belong to everyone. Sometimes, they show a need for novelty, intensity, play with transgression, but do not necessarily reflect a repressed desire.
So whether you thought of Regé-Jean Page, Emma Watson or your ex, then that doesn't mean that your relationship or your sex life is going badly. Just enjoy the moment.
* The first name has been changed