On TikTok, Young Women Trade Tips For Getting Money From Rich, Old Men

To live happily, do we live in hiding? A very outdated expression if we take a look at the new trend coming from the favorite app for teens, TikTok. Young women known as sugar babies appear in photos and videos with their branded gifts, received from older men. And they even give great advice on how to hunt this male game with full pockets. But behind this juicy business, the risks are very real.

# 1 What is sugar dating / sugar babies?

The phenomenon of sugar babies was born in the United States more than twenty years ago. Most of them are young women, students between 18 and 25, who sell their time and their sometimes sexual services to rich men of a certain age, the sugar daddies, most often to avoid student loans. In exchange for relationships, sexual or not, young women receive gifts, travel and sums of money. These girls are different from the clichés about escort girls: the sugar baby is in high school and has a bright future. Its activity thus lasts only a given time.

Specialized sites connect sugar babies and customers, such as the American leader in this market, Seeking Arrangement, which has its French version. The latter announces in these press releases that France is the European country where there are the most sugar daddy, namely 95,029. “France is one of the countries where the rich are very rich even after paying their taxes. Contrary to popular belief, apart from Switzerland, France is the country where the standard of living of the richest is the highest. Among the Germans or the British, the rich are less rich. Among Italians, Belgians and Swedes, the standard of living of the super rich is even clearly a notch below France ”, says Brandon Wade, CEO and Founder of Seeking Arrangement. The site also explains that a sugar baby would receive no less than 3,600 euros per month on average.

According to Figaro, 40,000 French sugar babies, including 7,500 students, would have registered in 2018. In the country, the practice really made the headlines in 2017 when an advertisement for a sugar dating website addressed to students, RichMeetBeautiful, shocked passer-bys and community. “Hey, students! Romantic, passion and no student loan. Go out with a Sugar Daddy or a Sugar Mama ”, could we read on the posters at the time. The mayor of Paris had condemned this action.

Law level, it is legal vagueness: while some see it as a form of disguised prostitution, nothing is defined. “The websites that put these young girls in touch with these men cannot be condemned by the courts for procuring. They circumvent the laws by claiming that they are only a networking platform and take advantage of the legal vacuum that surrounds the web ”, Explain at the student Figaro Nadia Le Brun, journalist who carried out an investigation on the subject. Also uncertain about the quantification of meetings between sugar daddies and sugar babies via the Web, because in our country, there is no official study on the number of people concerned.

# 2 When sugar babies organize themselves on the networks

“I told him my rate for dinner with me. He burst out laughing and immediately overtook him ”, laughs Candis, 20 years old, American sugar baby on his TikTok followed by thousands of followers. Nowadays, there is no more need for matchmaking sites, sugar babies conduct their business via the TikTok application, and a multitude of apps offering dating. The hashtag #SugarBabies has been viewed more than 211.4 million times on the favorite teen app. Prada handbags, Balenciaga shoes, Cartier jewelry, 4X4 type cars … everything is shared with the community. In videos, users even give advice on “hunting” sugar daddy online, especially to find a specific kind of man or not to use his real name and pretend to already have it. “desired lifestyle”. “Keep your bio short and nice, but not boring. It is important to describe your ideal date ”, advises a sugar baby cited by the Daily Mail.

When it comes to asking for money, sugar babies on the hunt don’t have to “waste time” and it is suggested to be frank in saying what the requested amount is and in return for what. “Decide how much you want on a first date and contact everyone you can. Don’t wait for them to come to you. Write a generic message that you can copy and paste to start a conversation once they agree ” is thus one of the most widely disseminated advice on the social network. Young women, via tutorials, also preach their good word: how to draw the line between a virtual or physical relationship, avoid sexual assault and rape … “Finally, instead of favoring the sugar daddy / sugar baby meeting, the TikTok application serves as a meeting place between sugar babies”, Analysis with Release Laurence Allard, sociologist. This new community brings a form of professionalization of sugar dating, with mutual aid, thoughtfulness, advice … There is a dimension of safe space which is specific to TikTok because the application has, anyway, a encapsulating algorithm. ” The goal of these new sugar babies is clear: to demystify their means of remuneration. “I think in all forms of sex work people have this idea that you do it because you are a broken person. But it’s quite the opposite. It has done wonders for my confidence.”, testifies Wendi on refinery29.com.

The specialized sites have felt the right vein and sugar baby influencers are contacted to make partnerships. “We get a commission depending on the number of sugar babies and sugar daddy who join the site from our account”, confides one of them to Libé. However, under this pomp and this overwhelming discourse, questions arise: behind the mantras of these young self-made women, are there not real risks?

# 3 A lucrative, but dangerous practice

As in any relationship and even more so in this case, bad meetings and harassment are commonplace. “Customers know that we put up with our situation, that we are with them out of necessity and not out of desire, assures Charline, sugar baby, to The Express. So sometimes some take the opportunity to make degrading requests that they would not make in another situation. ” And what about the age of sugar babies? On TikTok, the comments are clear: minors are attracted, amazed by this world of luxury accessible without working in a conventional way, and they ask professionals how to get started. “Adolescence is an age where we are attracted to risk, but the dematerialized side suggests that what we do there is virtual, will not endanger us, will allow us to try experiments, retorts to Liberation Justine Atlan, general manager of the association e-Enfance. They think they are leading the dance, but find themselves in situations where without realizing it, they have gone too far. They can be manipulated, swindled… ” As for sugar dating sites, little verification of the age of “sugar babies”. Registration is very simple. It is easy to see that (very) people risk exposing themselves to great risks.

Whether you are for or against this form of sex work, taking on the role of sugar baby can involve significant risks. The wonderful picture shared on social networks that can be a real mirror to the larks. Yes, the gifts offered by sugar daddies are real, but so are the dangers.