opinion
“I don’t need a man, I would like one”
© wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock
Judka Strittmatter went on a search for partners under pandemic conditions and found that online dating also works differently now.
Even if everything is caustic at the moment, I am more of a “crisis than opportunity” apologist – and therefore somehow grateful to this stupid virus. Although it brings a lot to a standstill that we essentially miss, and I am worried about the consequential damage, it also paralyzes the right things: air traffic, mass consumption, disregard for nursing staff (better pay would, however, be more appropriate).
The signs on the dating portals are also pointing to deceleration
It enforces distance where it hurts, but also in places where you can be happy about it – in supermarkets, on the train, at a yoga class. For the time being, crowds are a thing of the past, you can finally growl at non-detached beings, and bad-tempered big-city faces grumble on the train largely unnoticed behind your own curtain. Mental and emotional hygiene is now important, because loneliness and booze lurk everywhere. And how do you protect yourself from both? Especially with walks in the fresh air.
And you can walk through the city park with an unknown and possibly “love interest”. To counter the whole madness we are going through now, the search for love: I kind of like that. Although I am far from being an esoteric disciple who sees it as a cure for everything – for flails on the bike path as well as for cold sores.
My online dating experience is still meager, I started shortly before the first lockdown, although I was moderately motivated – the majority of horror stories from this universe held me back. On the other hand, I also know great couples who have found each other there. And because a relationship is not carried out, you have to take care of it. What the lockdown has particularly improved for those who are hesitant like me: The signs on the dating portals are also pointing to deceleration. Not in terms of registrations and the flow of data, things went up steeply, but in terms of meetings on the doorstep. Everything at a distance for the time being, pushers and quick-to-goal-comers were slowed down. And that’s just as well.
Mindful relationship building is very popular
Perhaps thanks to Corona, romance will find its way into the digital love market. Minstrels are hardly born there, the motto is swipe and gone. The throttling of this terrible non-commitment suits my uncool intentions very much: I am looking for something solid, something beautiful, with ex and hopp is not for me. Of course, I admit that to men too. The experienced, not so young heart no longer flies as fast as it did when it was in its early 20s – we all know that. Unless it is ruled by need. But I don’t need a man, I would like one. For me it’s a huge difference.
And so I enjoy getting closer to each other with my dates. And not only is the park in there, you can also visit galleries and the zoo. Zoom makes it possible. A dinner is also an option, and if you join in without grumbling, you have never retired. Neither bread nor salt can be pushed in on the screen, feet are no longer available, but you can snuggle up wonderfully – without running the risk of waking up in someone else’s colorful checkered pattern.
The principle of mindful relationship finding is therefore very popular right now. And I enjoy this state to the full. Because if you don’t stay tuned with mutual attraction, you are definitely not crisis-proof. And who knows what emergency we will have to go through in the future.
Learning from the crisis
Judka Strittmatter is We are curious to see whether the Corona crisis will make us better people. Because hard experiences make many people wiser and stronger.
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