Opinion
No either/or
I’m a feminist, but you can still hold the door for me!
Feminism means bringing everyone on one level – together.
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Loud, power-addicted, male-oppressive, of course not at all feminine – attributes that still flare up in many people’s minds when you say: “I’m a feminist”. Male help is rejected anyway, so why offer it in the first place, “Emanze” does it all by itself. Stop it! We urgently need to wrap feminism in a new guise. Because our author says, “I’m a feminist, but you can still hold the door for me”.
Pointing when angry, even swearing, is considered passionate in men, while women are hysterical. If men make mistakes, they get a second chance, women need a new job.
Men get second chances, women need a new job
The best example is politics. Anne Spiegel, the former federal family minister, resigned after being harshly criticized for taking a family vacation at the wrong time. She apologized, but that didn’t help, the pressure was too great, she resigned. When Federal Minister of Health Karl Lauterbach announced confused innovations in corona policy and took them back via Twitter, everyone just shrugged their shoulders. Well, that’s okay. And the fact that Mr. Wissing once again missed the climate targets is not discussed any further.
This list could be continued indefinitely. What does this have to do with feminism? A lot, because the perception of independent strong women is exactly the problem that feminism also has.
I myself am a feminist, which for me means standing up for an equal society. I’m not just concerned with women, but with all people. I have no intention of dancing in heels on men’s backs and usurping power, I just want some of that power too. Feminism does not mean turning patriarchy into matriarchy. It means elevating all people and placing them on an equal footing – whether female, male, trans or nonbinary, regardless of skin colour, religion or sexuality.
Femininity and feminism go hand in hand
The outdated image of a feminist who appears as male as possible no longer corresponds to modern feminism. “I can wear lipstick, dress in pink and still negotiate business deals,” writes entrepreneur Tijen Onaran on her Instagram page. “My lipstick doesn’t shrink my brain”. Femininity and the fight for a just society are not mutually exclusive, on the contrary, they complement each other perfectly. Because everyone should be allowed to be exactly how he/she is.
For me, being a feminist does not mean having to give up my feminine side in order to get ahead in life. And it doesn’t mean I don’t shed a tear at hopelessly romantic movies, either. I can certainly sit on my pink sofa, with a coffee in a beautiful pastel mug, and read a feminist book ranting about the fact that women still don’t get paid the same as men. These are not opposites.
Feminism means including all people
I’m a feminist, but you can still hold the door open for me. Feminism doesn’t mean turning away from etiquette or not finding it charming when your chair is pulled out. For me, feminism means being able to exchange ideas with your partner, reflecting together and acknowledging that there are still differences that need to be fought for. Feminism means for me a union of all and not a differentiation.
But what I do want is to threaten what’s already there, I want to get out of the “we’ve always done it this way” whirlpool. I want change and I want to overthrow patriarchy, but not with wild screams and din. I’ll be loud and some might describe me as awkward, but I don’t care – it’s the only way to get where we’re going.
I would like to hold up a mirror to those who stash away all the privileges in our society and always shake their heads and ask themselves what the problem is with these whining women. I want to show the next generation that it’s okay for women to be loud, swear, and make mistakes, and I want men to be able to express their feelings, talk about problems, and put on makeup when they feel like it. I want to improve all of our lives – that’s my feminism.