The Orgasm Gap is a pretty big house number, if you take a closer look at it. Similar to the gender pay gap, it describes the difference between the frequency of orgasms in women and men. There are many reasons why women are not rewarded with a flight at every hot number. For most, it's just a fact. We learn early on: Women are harder and, above all, much less likely to orgasm than men – natural law, you can't do anything. In any case, male orgasm is still considered the end of heterosexual activities in many minds. Why? Well, because women are so hard to get to the point …
In-out-penis-in-vagina penetration is rare
However, this is our normative idea of how sex works: man puts his penis in, a little bit back and forth, done. For him, this may also work very well and end satisfactorily, but three quarters of all women achieve orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris and not through penetration of the vagina, so the man can practice in and out as long as the clitoris is ignored not too much for many women. It is therefore not a big surprise that there are worlds between the orgasm rate of women and men. If we want to close the “Orgasm Gap”, we should first let go of our outdated notion of sex.
Ladies, we can come just as quickly …
On average, men and women need about four minutes to reach orgasm through masturbation. Conversely, this means that women can no longer reach it more or less easily, as men do, when they know which buttons to press on themselves. Unfortunately, female masturbation is still a taboo. While men shamelessly boast in public how often they have already wagged one from the palm today, women whisper behind their hands and only with their closest friend that they have now bought a "massage stick". but pssst. Fortunately, a lot happens here too. Above all because the younger generation of women is more enlightened, goes forward and no longer wants to be pushed into the power structure between men and women. Instead of whispering, they make female masturbation socially acceptable on social media under the hashtag #Imasturbate.
It's not just about sex, it's about equality
So we should start urgently rethinking our understanding of sex. For men, this means taking care of their partner in addition to their own satisfaction. It starts to deal with how it is structured down there with us women and where the partner might like it a lot more to be touched than just to practice bluntly in and out until it is enough for the woman and her fakes an orgasm. And for women? Just open your mouth and not only because we think we have to do this service to the man, but above all to say what we want. Yes, it's intimate, but it's also quite simply our right to have as much fun in bed as our partner.
Give it to me baby
Unfortunately, as in many other areas, we also have the feeling that we have to give something before we can take it, so we have to earn something first. Most of us are so subconsciously anchored that we hardly dare to question ourselves. At the same time, women should still get their money's worth, preferably with as little effort as possible. All you have to do is look at the statistics on oral sex, or simply go through your own experiences, maybe that's enough. There is no question, of course, that you are still expected to have an orgasm because otherwise the ego of our counterpart might be offended, otherwise there is something wrong with us. It is therefore no wonder that around half of all women have faked an orgasm at least once.
Enlightenment! It's still about education! And self-confidence.
What men and women can do for their own education: For example, read Katja Lewina's book. "She has Bock" is exactly about, that is, attributions of female body and lust, power in bed and what we should all really think about when we speak of equality. So she writes: "A guy who likes to be served but doesn't like pussies on the face won't come to bed anyway." And we should always be worth that much.