When we fall in love again, our life gets a whole new magic from one day to the next. Everything looks so much easier, brighter and happier. We shine from the inside and infect others with our good mood.
But often dark clouds appear too quickly in the relationship sky. Somehow it doesn't fit so well with the new partner. Ideas don't go together. Expectations are disappointed, hopes are destroyed.
If you experience painful relationships often enough, you can lose interest in them at some point. After all, it takes a lot of strength to reassemble yourself from the shards that the last separation left behind.
Anyone who is open and honest in a calm moment before starting a new relationship asks the following questions and answers this very deliberately from the bottom of his heart, he has a good chance of entering into relationships in the future that really have a chance to keep.
1. Why do I want this relationship?
Sometimes we are drawn to people who address feelings in us that not a good basis for a happy relationship are. It is feelings that we are often not even aware of, that develop their destructive power in the subconscious.
Do we want to secretly conquer someone who is forgiven to prove to ourselves how great we are? Doesn't it really matter to us who our partner is – just not to be alone anymore? Do we want to be with a particularly attractive or successful partner to bask in the sun? Do we actually see someone else in the new partner whom we want love and recognition from, for example the father complex?
If such thoughts are the starting point for a new relationship, failure is almost inevitable, because true love needs a pure, genuine interest in the other person. But if you are aware of such thoughts, you can specifically work through their origins and thus prevent them from determining our love life and guiding us precisely into the next unsuitable relationship.
2. Does this relationship really stand a chance?
The older we get, the more precise we often have of what our life should look like. Whether children, work, social ties or travel dreams – there are relative fixed ideas and wishes on how these areas should be shaped in our future.
And then we suddenly slip into a romantic relationship with someone who works completely differently. Sure, it can go very well for a while and us for a short time a wonderful firework of emotions give, because where there are differences, there is often a very special attraction, that of trying out new things, which can sometimes open up completely new horizons.
But if the ideas of our new partner do not match what we want from the heart in the long term, it often doesn't matter how well it harmonizes in other areas, then the thing starts to get in trouble.
It is better to talk about shared expectations and hopes earlier than to be disappointed at some point in the future.
3. What thoughts do I use to destroy my relationships myself?
Often, we don't secretly think very well about ourselves. We don't consider ourselves lovable, not good enough to be loved. And we already expect to be deeply injured again in the future if we dare to open our hearts.
It's cruel but true: if we think badly of ourselves and look so black into the future, let's put on the negative and automatically meet people who treat us as badly as we think they deserve.
It is quite certain that a loving and sincere partner can help us rebuild our self-esteem if we lose it after we have been hurt very often. But for this fire you need at least a tiny spark of faith that we are worthy of being loved.
Our thoughts are powerful and have the power to determine our fate. If we allow ourselves to believe in a good future, to look at life positively and to believe that we are lovable, the world reflects this to us and people come into our lives, who appreciate our love.
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