Authoritarian, anti-authoritarian or democratic upbringing style – one has often heard of these terms, but what do they actually mean and what other parenting styles are there?
A parenting style determines, among other things, how parents interact with their children and how norms and values are conveyed. The parenting style can be understood as the basic attitude that parents adopt towards their children in interactions. However, these are theoretical concepts that can be individual in practice or whose transitions can be fluid. Some of the following styles of upbringing may seem very out of date in our western liberal world. Yet they do exist. For the sake of completeness, they are also listed here.
Parenting styles: overview
- Autocratic parenting style: Aims at the child's absolute obedience. The rules are drawn up by the legal guardians. Sanctions or penalties are applied for non-compliance with the rules. Absolute authority is imparted to the child. The child's initiative and independence are completely prevented.
- Authoritarian parenting style: Again, obedience and strict discipline are required. Depending on the implementation, rewards or punishments follow. Expectations of the child are clearly defined in the authoritarian parenting style. The hierarchical gap between child and parents is made clear in the interaction. There are also strict controls, for example, which hobbies the child pursues or with which friends they are allowed to surround themselves. The development of the child's own personality and self-esteem are suppressed.
- Anti-authoritarian parenting style: This style of parenting focuses on free development and creativity. This style of upbringing can be seen as the opposite of authoritarian upbringing. It is true that the parents see themselves in the role of making suggestions, but the decisions are made by the child alone. There are also no fixed rules. The basic idea behind this education is based on the child knowing what is good for him or her. Self-expression and self-confidence are encouraged by the informal environment.
- Authoritative parenting style: The expectations, rules and values are exemplified for the child directly by the parents, so that they have orientation. In the authoritative parenting style, clear boundaries are defined, but this is done in dialogue with the child. Even if the legal guardians are always decision-makers, the child is still involved in decision-making processes and thereby learns responsibility. The child receives support and praise within their scope of action.
- Laissez-faire parenting style: The child is exposed to neither expectation pressure nor grand rules. There are hardly any points of orientation or claims. Likewise, no punishments or consequences will be applied. The parents do not take on an active educational role, but rather a passive one. The child is more likely to be left to its own devices and in extreme cases even neglected by the parents.
- Permissive parenting style: This parenting style can be seen as a weakened form of the laissez-faire parenting style. The child's initiative is also mainly required here. The parents hold back and the child has to take action himself, make decisions and express wishes and needs. Basically, it can do anything it wants – limits are only occasionally set. The parents show tolerance, no punishment or demands are made. The child must actively express the desire for help so that the parents support.
- Democratic parenting style: In a democratic parenting style, communication with the child is the alpha and omega, and the child is given a lot of personal responsibility. Rules are discussed together, but can also be relativized or changed in dialogue with the child if there is a corresponding justification. A lot of initiative and independence is encouraged. With this style of upbringing, the child is aware of the consequences if rules are not followed. However, there are no punishments here, only milder sanctions.
- Equal parenting style: In this style of upbringing, everything is decided together with the child – it is an increase in the democratic style of upbringing. Equality is the key word here. The child's opinion is given the same weight as that of the parents. As a result, an encounter between parents and child takes place on one level. The parents make suggestions and decisions are discussed with the child. However, a lot of patience is required of the parents.
How do parenting styles develop in practice?
How parents deal with their child is always individually shaped, as each parent also has their own norms and values. In addition, the parents' own upbringing can also have a formative effect and, in turn, affect the upbringing of the child. In addition, one always has to consider upbringing in the cultural context: What is socially accepted, which cultural values and socialization processes are incorporated into upbringing?
While upbringing was often much stricter in the last century, today we try to see children as independent individuals. However, a parenting style cannot fully influence how children develop, as external influences and the unconscious also play a role, for example. For this purpose, a style of upbringing should also be understood more as a theoretical construct that can take other forms in implementation – and also depends on age and the respective situation. Basically, it is important for children that they grow up in a setting that gives them love and security and in which they are strengthened.
Reading tip: Here we have tips and suggestions for painting with children and making games yourself. And here you can find out what educational concepts exist in kindergarten.
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