What do children need to be happy? Well, love, many parents would answer now. Affection certainly plays a major role in a person's development – but only one. There is also a second pillar that children need in their lives to one day go through life independently as adults. It's called structure.
Two-ingredient education: How children become happy adults
In a conversation with Kevin Delaney, editor-in-chief of Quartz magazine, the psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, why the second ingredient is so important for children: "You can get warmth from your teachers, the parents of your children, but structure only from your parents." Affection and love are important, but would not always help children to function in adult life, which requires rules and discipline.
Why structure is so important for children
If children lack structure in their lives, this deficiency could even lead to fear in adulthood. Parents should be seen as consistent leaders who are a constant in life.
Even so, love should not be neglected: "You have to feel loved and you have to know the rules," says Dr. Damour, who breaks down the educational instructions into two simple components. Affection and structure are therefore the two magic words that would make children happy adults. Dr. By the way, Damour herself is the mother of a teenage daughter and the author of a book about exactly this age group in girls.
By the way, the psychologist told Quartz a soothing tip: stress is normal. For children too. As long as they have enough time to recover, it even helps them to be more stress-resistant in old age. So parents don't have to shield everything from their children. Instead, they can concentrate on the two important pillars of education: structure as a tool for professional life, love for relationship life – with these two ingredients, children are well prepared for the future.
And for parents: relax. Because some parenting mistakes are even good for our children – and otherwise you can always ask yourself this question if you don't know what to do.