A crying child instinctively seeks consolation from parents or close adults – in the video you can see which sentences you can use to dry the tears quickly!
No matter how happy all children appear on Facebook and Instagram: Parents know very well, of course, that no childhood in the world can be completely without pain, anger and tears. Growing up in which these feelings are not lived out would probably not produce a stable and healthy personality either – and yet it is of course often heartbreaking when a child simply cannot stop crying and urgently needs consolation.
Better to leave: "Stop crying!"
Most of the time, parents also know pretty well how to reassure and comfort their child. And yet, far too many children still often have to listen to sentences from adults that make them feel no better. On the contrary: some formulations get so stuck that they can even cause damage that can last a lifetime. "Stop crying!" is a command that boys prefer to hear when tears flow. To the adult who uses it as "consolation", this may seem totally appropriate in the situation (or as a good counter-attack for the "leverage" with which the child wants to "blackmail") – but such a harsh rejection is not exactly good for you Be a bond and a relationship of trust, regardless of the situation.
Better to leave: "Don't act like that!"
And yes, it's true: Of course, children sometimes use their tears as a targeted means of pressure to get their way. When adults do this, it's a calculated strategy and manipulation – in children, it's a perfectly normal part of growing up and a test of how much influence you really have on adults. Cold-hearted rejection and demonstrative denial may then win the power struggle, but also send a fatal signal to the child.
Better: "I'm here – tell what's going on!"
Because no matter why the child is crying – he or she pays very close attention to how you treat him. And with a loving reaction you never do anything wrong (even if you still won't buy ice cream in the situation, as the child may tearfully demand). Above all, it is important that children notice: you are listening to them and take their pain seriously. A lost sticker is a small thing for you, for the sad child maybe a little world has collapsed because of this loss. So the best consolation is still a mixture of listening, showing understanding and, once the child has calmed down a bit, maybe looking for a solution together. In the video you can see a few good example sentences that immediately convey the feeling that your child is safe and secure with you.