The pegging or pegging in English is for a woman to penetrate her male partner with a strap-on. This practice, still very taboo for some · e · s, nevertheless allows access to intense pleasure and to experience sexual reciprocity.
The pegging or pegging in French refers to the concept of "penetrating woman". This female sodomy still suffers from many stereotypes. However, it allows partners to explore new sensations and overturn established roles in society.
What is pegging or pegging?
Pegging, known as pegging in French, designates the act of penetration of a man by his female partner, with a strap-on or not. "It is an anal report practiced by the woman in the heterosexual couple" explains Claire Alquier, sex therapist and couple therapist. Obviously, people of all sexualities and identities use strap-ons, but the term pegging generally refers to a cis * man penetrated by a cis woman. If it can be a little intimidating or even scary at first, taking control can also be very exciting.
How to practice pegging?
As with any other sexual practice, pegging requires good communication between the partners and their mutual consent. Yes, but how to open the discussion on pegging? "By simply speaking of the fact that the anus is an erogenous zone which gives pleasure" replies the sexologist. For Marie, pegging has entered the discussion thanks to sexting. "I slipped that into a sext conversation one evening, and it passed. As her response was positive, I decided to discuss it "for real", apart from a conversation aimed at getting excited " she says.
To practice pegging, you first need to have the right accessories. The harness (the belt worn by the woman) must be at the right size and well adjusted. It must be strong enough to support the weight of the sex toy. Often the two are sold together. If you choose a separate dildo, be careful not to choose it too large. Better to favor a “standard” model of 16cm, and if possible even, below.
- Use a good lubricant
Another essential element of pegging, the lubricant! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce natural lubrication. To ensure smooth penetration, choose a silicone-based lubricant suitable for the anal area.
- Be patient and take it easy
For many, the penetration movement is new and not necessarily intuitive. Take it easy to get started. "The object (the strap-on, editor's note) can be scary, so we are quietly introduced to anal pleasure by discovering ourselves, taking the time, and why not starting with our fingers or smaller objects" advises Claire Alquier.
Inversion of roles and sexual reciprocity
You may be wondering: why sodomize your boyfriend? And why let yourself be penetrated by your partner? Well, first of all, because it gives pleasure. The prostate is a very erogenous zone in humans, "Which generally provides very deep, diffuse sensations, which are sensations that heterosexual men are not used to having" explains the sexologist. Prostate orgasms are described as more intense, deeper and longer by the adepts. "For some, it is obvious that the transgression of the practice has a role in the pleasure that it can give or because it is something new or a long-standing fantasy" adds Claire Alquier.
Contrary to popular belief, pegging is not only exciting for the penetrated partner. "In women, there is psychic pleasure, a feeling of power by giving pleasure to the other, reversing roles and also taking a certain form of power" explains our sexologist. But depending on the strap-on dildo chosen, physical pleasure also comes into play. Today we find strap-on dildos made up of a part intended for the vagina and another for the buttocks for double stimulation, such as the Double Dildo Share from Fun Factory. Better to have a little training because the sex toy holds thanks to the force of the perineum.
Finally, pegging allows you to experience sexual reciprocity. Each partner puts himself in the place of the other, literally as figurative and comes out of the role plays established by the company. "We wanted to test rather for issues of power relations and role reversal, physical pleasure was not the priority" confides Marie. "I prefer to see it as a kind of reciprocity, to be able to give back to the other rather than as a relationship of domination of one over the other".
Is pegging a taboo sexual practice?
Pegging remains little discussed in the media, although we have heard much more in recent years about prostatic orgasm and prostate massage. Why ? “Because anal practice still gives rise to many taboos. From there, we add the anal report for a straight man, it adds a taboo on the taboo ” says sexologist Claire Alquier. What is problematic is not prostatic pleasure per se, but being penetrated. "As it involves penetrating the anus, it conveys the idea that this practice refers to sexual orientation and only concerns homosexuals" she adds. The man who accepts being penetrated at the same time accepts letting go, vulnerability. Not obvious for the one that culture has always considered as "penetrating" or "dominant". "It is not easy either for the woman to consider doing it, to think of proposing it" reminds our expert.
For Marie, pegging changed her vision of sex within the couple: "It helped us out of a stupid relationship" penetrating man dominates / penetrated woman dominated ", now I associate penetration less with" the person who has the upper hand during a relationship "". By exchanging roles and freeing yourself from taboos, you may well gain access to an intense level of intimacy that brings your couple closer and stronger. This was the case for Marie, who says: "It is not an obvious practice, which comes naturally: it is learned, and not only the" physical "side. You have to speak, express yourself, trust, accept to show intimate facets of either – even more, I find, that during a more "classic". Now, we know how to do lots of things, we can reverse roles when we want, we can really listen to our desires and our moods without censoring ourselves or being afraid of being judged by the other. In any case, we have built something so intimate that we no longer have any fear of the judgment or the opinion of the other ”.
The art of pegging does not come naturally. Several attempts will be necessary before mastering it, so above all play down and approach this moment with humor. Marie admits: “The first time was a bit dingy and I was very, very afraid of hurting him, but by dint of practice, it became very good. My boyfriend looked so happy that I thought it was worth a second try. And everything went well! ”
“To peg or not to peg”, pegging in pop culture
Popular culture has helped to lift the veil on this still mysterious sexual practice for many. In 2015, the American sitcom Broad City, devoted an entire episode (season 2 episode 4) "To peg or not to peg" to the pegging where the heroine Abbi launches into pegging with her new boyfriend, with the encouragement of her best friend, Ilana, who dreams of directing this fantasy has always been.
Pegging also appeared in the film Dead Pool, in which Ryan Reynols plays the role of a macho anti-hero.
More recently, it's the series The Bold Type who devoted an entire episode (season 4 episode 6), also baptized "To peg or not to peg" to the practice of pegging. We see the character of Kat, a young bisexual woman, hesitate when his male partner asks him to penetrate him. An episode that questions the power relations in sexuality. "It's scary because it's different from what we were taught to expect. Patriarchy has taught us that men are supposed to be powerful, women are supposed to be submissive ” says Kat. Thank you pop culture!
* gender identity where the felt gender of a person corresponds to his biological sex, assigned at birth.
Thanks to Claire Alquier, sex therapist and couple therapist, clairealquier.com