Permi Jhooti: How she found her very own way

Dear Permi, you became the first professional soccer player with Asian roots – and that at a time when your parents had completely different plans for you: A woman had to fulfill a role in the conventional Indian household, and you were originally facing an arranged marriage . How did you deal with the situation and what gave you the courage to fight against the conventions?

I grew up in two cultures and of course they influenced me in every life situation. The problem: British and Indian cultures are completely different – including what is considered "normal", for example. So you are stuck in the middle thinking that neither side is right, and you question a lot. Somehow you feel like you don't fit into anything. At that time, I was struggling to find and understand myself. Meanwhile, the thought floated over my head that there were already plans for me anyway. I felt helpless, but there was nothing I could do about it. So until that moment came, I tried to enjoy every bit of freedom – and despite everything, to make sure that my life had options.

It was sport that gave me support. In football I was able to realize myself and was accepted for who I am. When I was playing, that was the only moment I was in control of something! What was interesting was that I was always told to stop playing football because it would affect my education. And because I somehow believed that, it was an incentive for me to always give my best in my studies! Whenever I find myself in a difficult situation today, I remember my earlier football days and can therefore look ahead more optimistically. Sport made me strong for life.

Was it a problem for your parents that you wanted to play soccer?

Sometimes I would sneak out and do sports. It wasn't as if my parents didn't support me in sport, but it was much more important to them that I did very well at school. So as long as I got very good grades, I could convince her that her fears were unfounded. However, I was convinced that I needed the sport – it helped me in my whole life. And since my grades were always good, I could argue that everything is fine. When we understand that our parents love us and want the best for us, we can better filter what they actually want to say. I think usually they just want to express that they love us and are afraid. But you only understand that in retrospect.

Through sport you not only got to know yourself better, but you also took the step to a professional football career. How did this path smooth out for you? What would you advise women to find strength for a self-determined life?

I never wanted to become a professional soccer player – it was pure coincidence. I once injured myself so badly in a game that I almost died. Actually, I wanted to quit football at this point and I thought I was going to blame myself all the time. Before they pushed me into the operating room and I didn't know whether I would wake up again, I was surprised by my own thoughts: It was actually completely ok, because I always made my own decisions!

What happened next?

When I phoned my football club after surgery, I assumed I was a hero because I literally almost died for the club! Instead, they just asked me if I could bring my gear back – they didn't assume I would ever play again. That call absolutely changed me! I was someone who always had to compete – but after the accident I could hardly eat and just lay down. I came up with a thought: I wanted to try to eat a little more every day and sit up longer, and come back at the end of the season and play one last game! During that time there was no competition with anyone else – I was just anxious to achieve more than the day before. And at the end of the season, I was playing the best game of my life! This time I didn't care what was asked of me. I was there all by myself and wanted to prove to myself: If I want to play soccer, then I can play soccer!

I wanted to make a statement with the game. I just thought: How can I be the best version of myself? Life is super simple at the end: if you ask yourself what kind of team or company or whoever you should be, you can only be the best version of yourself. You can't give more to anyone else! That was all before the professional contract. If I had just tried to become a professional soccer player, I would never have made it.

How did you end up preventing the arranged marriage?

After the accident, I just couldn't get on with the old discussions about arranged marriage and the shame for the family. I made the decision to distance myself from my mother if necessary. As soon as I made that decision, my point of view also changed: I began to see my mother as a person rather than a mother. I saw a woman who came from a small village in India and who was not allowed to make any decisions about her life or her marriage. I suddenly felt compassion for her and her life. I realized that she was scared of telling her parents that her daughter might not have an arranged marriage – and she was more scared than me!

Knowing this, I was able to talk to her about her fears. My mother was always concerned about what other people would say and do. But I was able to make it clear to her that the only people who mattered were our family – and they supported me. The moment I told my mother that I was going to marry my boyfriend, she helped me. She said, "It was my job to marry you to an Indian. But if you now marry someone else and you've made the decision, it's just my job to be your mother and I will support you."

Your own story became known when it formed the basis for the film "Kick it like Beckham" (2002). How did it feel for you to see your story on screen?

I was supposed to be playing the double for the film, but I left the country not to be there. Nobody sees your true story on screen – what you see are just the clichés picked out. And they make life smaller than it is! But life is so much more! So I struggled a lot with the film at the beginning because I obviously saw it on a different personal level. It wasn't until I saw how the story was helping other people that I could extract myself from it and look at it with a different perspective.

Our own story is always so much more complicated – there is no short version. When you climb a mountain, you only spend 1 percent of the way on the summit – but everyone wants to see this shot! The whole thing consists of the way up, which takes forever – and which in turn is too boring for photos. But in the end, it's the tiny little moments that are all so crucial to our lives – and they're not the big waving flag!

After your football career you moved to Basel, Switzerland. What do you like about Basel?

Before I came to Basel, I was a little concerned: For the first 25 years of my life, I wasn't someone who came out loud. In London, however, I became a little more confident. But I feared that moving to another country would make me quieter again. When I came to Switzerland, I was happy that there were so many people from different countries. I suddenly realized that I wasn't committed to it and didn't have to define myself by being the Indian from Great Britain. I could be completely myself. I found that very liberating! I was just Permi – and that was wonderful!

Besides, Basel is not a boastful place. In London, I always missed the Indian family community feeling, which Basel has more of. The city is smaller, but there is great diversity in it. I find it easy in Basel to get access to and contact with different groups and people. In addition, you are still on the border with France and Germany. When the lockdown came, I suddenly realized that we could just walk back and forth between the borders before that. I love Basel!

First you worked as an IT specialist in heart research and now you are a multimedia artist, using a special camera to create art from data from people in motion. What got you into art

I am a software engineer and worked in the field of heart movement and respiration, wrote algorithms, dealt with biofeedback and conducted studies with many creative minds. When my professor's professor pointed out to me that I had to decide what I wanted to do because the next step was to become a professor, I wondered how I had actually got there? I've always liked research, but it shouldn't be my whole life. I wasn't unhappy where I was, but I hadn't thought about what else I wanted to do in my life. So I decided to stop everything: I wanted to take a three month break and find out what I really want to do when I can do it all!

I bought a Kinetic Camera on the first day of my break and learned to program it within two weeks. A friend I had told about the camera then asked me if I could create something digital and interactive for his theater group. Although I denied that I had just bought this camera, he just said, "I trust you!" – and suddenly I had to do it – and have stayed with it to this day. I never expected that I would end up doing art.

Your art is entitled "MotivEmotive" – ​​what does that stand for? What gives you inspiration

My motive is emotion. Everything revolves around emotions and that inspires me: I see something, I feel something and something gives me drive – I want to explore and express what it is. Dance in particular is an expression of joy on a completely different level and that still moves me a lot.

What gives you the courage to try new things over and over again?

There were always people who took the time to help me: my teacher, my professor, my father, who in a certain way sacrificed himself for us children. So when it comes to courage, there have been sacrifices for me that got me where I am – it would be disrespectful if I didn't get up and live my life. I think if you look at the victims of your life you have to live your life – what else would be the point !?

Thank you for the interview, dear Permi!

Here you can find more inspiring personalities from our series "strong women".