I don’t have to love all of your dogs
Yes, our author also thinks four-legged friends are great. But not that most of her friends have turned into full-time pet owners.
Well, what kind of person are you? No, not the labrador, but the guy at the other end of the leash who ignores the fact that his animal has shit on the verge. I bark, “Hey! Yes, YOU! You’re not going to leave that there, are you?” and hate myself for it. But what I hate even more is dog poop on my shoes – and the many newly awakened “Dog Mums” and “Dog Dads” who buy their new family members car seats, beds, pajamas and bike trailers, but stay away if the darling drops something. You’re new to big business. Some were once my friends.
Just as the world once tore into people with and without children, I am suddenly alone without animals. Almost all have brought dogs into the house for the first time. Some even bought second dogs when they realized that a puppy doesn’t train and keep itself busy on its own. The two should have fun and socialize each other as a mini pack. Parents who have had a second child so that the first “always has someone to play with” know better.
Last year, 1.6 million dogs joined the more than ten million dogs in Germany – and a couple of cats: to keep the “stay at home” company, to keep the offspring busy, to caress their own nerves with the cuddly toy. And as a reason to roam legally outside day and night. Dog owners are a world apart. Unfortunately not for me: I’m the excluded company, since I strictly refuse to let the slobbering animal give me “kisses”. With tongue. On the mouth. I find that disgusting – the new dog owners think I’m stupid and want to teach me that it would strengthen my immune system. The worms are laughing! I like dogs. But I’m angry that they have alienated and befriended my humans: Because I’m not good as a contact person for topics such as the right food, the wrong training, the best veterinarian or dog groomer. I can’t stand the word “treats”, and even less the stench of dried turkey necks, beef scalp or pig ears as “natural chews” in the jacket pockets of convinced vegans. Ironically, dogs breed where many people consciously live without meat, avoid cars and plastic in order to minimize factory farming and CO2 emissions. With whom or what are the animals fed?
How I was looking forward to meeting all my girlfriends again! But her “Fur Babies” keep her on a short leash. In reality, no, dog owners become obsessed with their dogs. They don’t leave the house without them – and certainly not for a whole weekend on tour.
But now I know how to get you: Since the office is increasingly outside the home again, dog owners are looking for carers as desperately as young parents are looking for a daycare place. Maybe I should get a coaching license. Then you will come back to me in packs.