SEX ACCORDING TO MAÏA
In bed, you have to “hold on”: men have been repeating this injunction since the dawn of time. It is by the stopwatch that they assess not only their sexual performance, but, it seems, their value as human beings. When you are a woman, this obsession is as esoteric as the flight of starlings. Why don’t men put pleasure, or discovery, at the top of their sexual priorities? That would sound like common sense. Unfortunately, the contemporary male is annoying. He wants “to hold”. If he does, he’s happy. If he fails, he crumbles to dust.
The problem is that apparently the contemporary male fails. Almost all the time. According to’IFOP/Charles.co survey October 2019, 90% of men would like to ejaculate less quickly. Translation: 90% of men find themselves sexually insufficient. Should we accuse pornography or the cult of performance? Personally, I vote for a fascinating tendency to place one’s hubris in the worst possible place. Ejaculation is a reflex. Wanting to thwart the normal functioning of one’s body amounts to wanting to domesticate the animal in oneself: a barrier against the biological. All this is of an admirable nobility. However, well, it doesn’t work.
What duration should be reached to “hold” sufficiently – let’s say, the union minimum of performance? The statistical average of penetrations, timed by science, is 5 minutes and 40 seconds. And you know what ? 5 minutes 40 is already a long time. Personally, in 5 minutes 40, I have time to finish a not too complicated sudoku. Only, men are not satisfied with this very honorable duration. Holding on long enough is not enough for them: you have to hold on a lot. And maybe even hold on too. When the men themselves declare the length of their penetration, they estimate it at 13 minutes. In the opinion of the pollsters, this duration is overestimated (IFOP/Charles.co).
Now let’s ask the annoying question: for what purpose should we “hold” these interminable erections? If we listen to the men themselves, the avowed goal invariably turns out to be altruistic. We don’t care for ourselves – oh no, especially not – we care for the other. Because as everyone knows, no human being, since Methuselah and even the amoebas, has ever felt the slightest pleasure without stimulation by a penis.
sexual misunderstanding
The problem with this scenario is that it comes up against a reality that has remained invisible for a long time, but which is now commonly accepted: in bed, women prefer when penetration ends quickly. It’s not me who says it, it’s the figures of the simulation. At the latest news, 91% of women had already simulated orgasm… And among them, 56% had simulated with the aim of shortening the sexual act (Gleeden survey, December 2021).
You have 59.76% of this article left to read. The following is for subscribers only.