How we deal with our feelings can vary greatly from person to person. The psychologist Judith Orloff describes four basic emotional types. Which one would you most likely associate yourself with?
Sometimes we may feel them as a burden, but generally our feelings are of great value. They navigate us through life and make up our personality. They connect us to others and give us meaning and meaning. We may all feel similar emotions within us, but how we deal with them differs from person to person.
Based on her therapeutic work, the psychologist Judith Orloff has observed four basic tendencies in dealing with feelings. While most people exhibit traits of all tendencies, many have one of these types more prominent than the others. With you, too?
Psychologist distinguishes 4 emotional types
1. The intellectual type
The psychologist counts among the intellectual type people who usually approach situations very analytically, carefully, thoughtfully, structured, rationally and with a cool head. They have a strong need to understand what is happening to them or around them, that is, to identify causes, logical principles, or laws, and tend to feel uncomfortable when they fail to do so. Those who have a lot of this type in them often find it difficult to trust their own feelings and intuition. Likewise, people of this emotional type cannot easily let go and relax.
The psychologist lists the following as typical characteristics of people of this type:
- They believe that thinking always leads to a solution.
- When faced with a problem, they immediately analyze it using categories such as pros and cons or cause and effect, rather than sensing what they are feeling.
- They prefer to plan rather than make spontaneous decisions.
- You tend to brood.
Anyone who finds themselves in this description could like to pay more attention to their own feelings and feel which impulses or physical sensations they trigger. Emotions are not disruptive factors, but rather fulfill a function. They are just as much a part of us as our eyes, our hands or our heart. With our conscious thinking we can only grasp a very, very small part of the world, sooner or later we reach our limits or believe a deception. Our feelings can provide further guidance if we respond to them.
2. The empathic type
People who tend towards the empathic type – Judith Orloff also calls them “feeling sponges” – are sensitive, sensitive, loving and compassionate. They sense when something is in the air and often experience their own emotions and those of other people very intensely.
The psychologist lists the following as typical characteristics of people of this emotional type:
- Other people sometimes refer to them as “too emotional” or “oversensitive”.
- If someone close to them is sad or hurt, so are they.
- They are mostly introverted and feel overwhelmed when they are around too much or with too many other people.
- They are sensitive to sensory impressions such as noise or smells.
People who identify with the empathetic type usually do well when they integrate rituals into their everyday lives that allow them to find peace and collect emotionally. Meditation, walks in a quiet area – moments when little stimulus and input hits them. Additionally, it may be useful for some to make notes of situations in which they feel overwhelmed (by their emotions and the external circumstances that trigger them) and panic, and to look at those situations from a distance. Sometimes this helps to realize that not all stimuli and all of our emotional impulses are equally important and meaningful.
3. The stoic type
The psychologist also describes the stoic type as “rock”. People who tend to be of this type are often reliable, good and tolerant listeners who are not shaken or put off by anything. They themselves usually find it difficult to express or show their feelings.
The features cited by Judith Orloff for characters of the Stoic type are:
- They find it easier to listen than to share.
- You often see yourself as the person others rely on the most.
- They are satisfied with their relationships – while others usually want more commitment from them.
In order to build deep, mutual and balanced bonds, it is usually helpful or necessary that we share our feelings with other people. This is the only way to create real closeness, mutual understanding and deep trust. Therefore, it is good for people who recognize a high proportion of the stoic type in themselves if they practice articulating and acting out their emotions. Journaling can be a good way to do this, especially asking questions like What am I feeling right now? and How am I doing today? are to be answered.
4. The talkative guy
In a way, the communicative type is the opposite of the stoic type. The psychologist places people in this category who deal very openly with their feelings and usually live them out directly and unfiltered. They are often able to process negative emotions quickly and look ahead. However, for people around her, her outspoken nature can sometimes be a bit much.
According to Judith Orloff, people of this emotional type are characterized by the following characteristics:
- It scares them to keep their feelings to themselves.
- If there are problems, her first impulse is to exchange ideas with others.
- You sometimes have difficulty recognizing the (emotional) boundaries of others.
In principle, there is nothing wrong with showing feelings openly and honestly and sharing them with other people. However, it becomes problematic when this is our only strategy for dealing with our emotions – because there is not always someone available who means well by us and whom we can trust. For this reason, those who identify very strongly with the communicative emotion type can try to take the time to ask their own gut feeling more often before seeking advice from other people. Or to think about your own feelings and to understand them before he:she acts them out on the outside. This can promote independence and self-confidence – and possibly also relieve the burden on others.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, healthyaging.net