Psychology: 10 Benefits of Being Less Controlling

Do you always have to have everything under control and know exactly how a situation will end? Then you like to be in control. Here’s what the benefits of letting go can be.

Control and certainty give us a feeling of security and security. So it is only natural that we want to control things or people. Because we imagine that if we can control them, we will be safe, happy, or successful ourselves.

But trying to control everything by being rigid, demanding, and perfectionist is not doing us any good. It’s just an ill-suited outlet for dealing with our own fear. If you constantly have several balls in the air at the same time, plan and brood endlessly, you are making life difficult for yourself.

Especially since life brings many things with it over which we have no control. Claiming to change this simply creates a series of new problems such as physical and emotional stress, frustration, or tense relationships. Therefore, it is only beneficial for yourself to be less controlling.

Psychology: 10 Benefits of Being Less Controlling

Controlling people like to follow a routine, like the predictable and, conversely, do not think much of surprises. They tend to be stressed or angry when life takes an unexpected turn. A controlling person often feels fear and a sense of over-responsibility. This means that you are afraid of making mistakes and blaming yourself for things for which you are not responsible.

If you find yourself trying to control certain results, try taking a deep breath and letting go. Realize that it is not your job to make the unknown safe. Accepting this fact will bring you 10 benefits that will positively affect your psyche.

1. You will worry less

Your mind is preoccupied with ruminating and brooding over mistakes, worries, or events. This mental “obsession” won’t stop difficult or troubling happenings, it just robs you of your here and now life.

2. You will be more present

The constant need for control makes it harder for you to perceive the world around you, the people who love you, or the interests that make you really happy. Enjoy all the beautiful things that life has to offer you.

3. More confidence in your feelings

Thinking less creates space to feel more. After all, we have intuition for a reason – every now and then we just feel something. But what is known as “overthinking” makes it more difficult to listen to our emotions, which are an important and wise part of us.

4. Healthier relationships

When you stop trying to control every aspect of your life, you will find that you are less critical and judgmental. This is because judgment is a way for us to make quick decisions about right and wrong. But these decisions are not always correct and inevitably push people away from us.

5. You find your way to the real you

Once you stop having to say or do that to get a certain result, you are free to just be yourself.

Video tip: Six red flags that your partner is controlling you


Unhappy couple

6. Less fear

The more we control, the more scared we get. We think the only reason bad results haven’t happened is because we were always at the helm. But when you let go of control and realize that even then there will be no disaster and that you can deal with problems (when the time comes), your decisions will be less fear-driven.

7. More sympathy

When we want to control everything and everyone, we often offend people. This can quickly make ourselves unpopular, especially in romantic relationships, such behavior is toxic.

8. You have more energy

It takes immense mental reserves to constantly plan the next move. When this precious energy is released, you will feel more alive, carefree and spontaneous.

9. You will feel calmer

All the work you do to make sure life goes a certain way keeps you busy. Just as you begin to relax, your brain is reminding you of one thing that you need to fix, anticipate, or improve. The less you control, the more your body and mind relax.

10. You will rely on others

When we take everything into our own hands, others think we don’t need them. The people in your life may not know that you need support or that you want deeper relationships. If you let others reach you and ask for help, your relationships can become more intimate.

Sources used: psychologytoday.com, psychcentral.com

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Brigitte