Psychology: 2 qualities are important for a good relationship

partnership
These 2 qualities are essential for a healthy relationship

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How happy two people are in a relationship depends on many different factors. However, a psychologist names two core characteristics that are essential for a healthy partnership.

Trust, love, communication – all of these can be the keys to a really good relationship. But in fact, according to psychologist Dr. Daniel S. Lobel two very important qualities that every good partnership needs. This is independent of the relationship model that the two (or more) people choose.

2 qualities that every good partnership needs

1. Commitment

In order for both partners to feel safe and comfortable in a relationship, it is important to clearly communicate what they are committed to. This commitment can affect very different areas of the partnership. Of course, it begins with the basic agreements on the relationship model, such as loyalty. But it also refers to the fact that both people commit themselves, for example, to discussing different opinions objectively – without having to fear that the relationship will break up at the next possible disagreement.

2. The right way to deal with anger

Anger is a natural and sometimes even important emotion that alerts us when something is going wrong. However, for the success of relationships it is a central factor how we deal with this feeling and above all: how we communicate it. In most cases, behind anger – especially in a partnership – there is another feeling: hurt. And the first step in solving the problem is that we recognize for ourselves what has hurt us and why, and the second is that we communicate it objectively accordingly. And without raising your voice or smacking your opponent in the head. If we manage to explain to our partner what hurt us and then made us angry, this is a good basis for a stable relationship in which both feel comfortable and secure.

That’s why these two skills are so important for a relationship

That is the crux of the matter: According to the psychologist Dr. Daniel Lobel about the feeling of security that both partners want. And not in the sense of the traditional security concept, which includes, for example, 100 percent loyalty. Rather, it is about the partners having the feeling that they can trust each other and being sure that their counterpart will stick to the agreements made – no matter what they may look like.

If there is a lack of commitment and the ability to deal with anger well, the relationship quickly gets into trouble. dr Daniel Lobel describes a partnership in this case as “transactional”: “It is characterized by the last interaction,” explains the relationship expert to “Psychology Today”. “Any frustration or dissatisfaction is seen as the current status of the entire relationship.” The feeling of being constantly judged and the fear of how the other person will react can quickly lead to great insecurity.

That’s why it’s worth working on the two points – commitment and dealing with anger – in most relationship conflicts that arise again and again.

Source used: psychologytoday.com

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