Psychology: 3 Behaviors That Stop You From Being Successful

psychology
3 Signs Fear Is Stopping You From Being Successful

Are you striving for success, but somehow it doesn’t work out? This could be due to “psychological avoidance,” as Harvard psychologist Dr. Luana Marques reveals. Three signs of this.

If you want to be successful, you usually have to face challenges and new situations. It is not uncommon for such moments to be avoided – or approached “wrongly”. A simple example: An unpleasant but actually necessary conversation could advance your relationship. But what many people do is avoid or at least postpone the conversation out of fear.

The Harvard psychologist Dr. Luana Marques calls this pattern “Psychological Avoidance” on her blog “Dr. Luana”. We feel relieved and good through our reaction, but in the long term, the actual possible success is not achieved. What are signs of “Psychological Avoidance”? Three behaviors:

1. We withdraw

Change is an integral part of our lives. And yet they are always associated with uncertainty, discomfort and sometimes even fear. A common reaction and the first sign that avoidance behavior is present: Instead of courageously moving forward, we withdraw. At work it can be that we call in sick before a presentation; in relationships it is possible that we close ourselves off and want to be alone. This way it seems easier and feels safe – we stay in our comfort zone and don’t have to face something potentially unpleasant.

2. We overreact

However, depending on our personality and situation, we can also go into a fighting mood instead of retreating. We have an exaggerated reaction, become rude, yell at someone, or write a lot of messages. We strictly stick to our opinions and do not want to give in.

3. We remain in the situation

The final sign of “Psychological Avoidance” is persistence. We perceive the relationship or job as stressful or unpleasant, but we try to convince ourselves that it’s not that dramatic and everything will be fine. We stay in our usual surroundings again because we are afraid of change – it could get even worse.

What can we do if we notice these signs?

If we notice one of these three behaviors, we always recommend one thing first: to look at the situation from the outside, with as little emotion as possible. Helpful questions may include:

This approach means that you act less impulsively and more rationally and thoughtfully. This also means learning to accept things. Not everyone has to have the same opinion, so we don’t have to go into attack mode straight away. It would be better to stay calm, listen to each other – and maybe we can even learn something from each other.

And last but not least, very important: always think in small steps. Of course it’s also good to have big dreams. But when it comes to implementing them in everyday life, it is often more effective to set small and really achievable goals. We also develop further with mini-steps – and that will bring us more success than continuing to avoid change out of fear.

Sources used: drluana.com, cnbc.com, welldoing.org

Bridget