According to psychologist
Believing these things will damage your self-confidence
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Our attitude towards ourselves has a huge influence on our lives and our well-being. According to psychologist Michelle Maidenberg, the following beliefs can have a negative impact on our relationship with ourselves.
How we perceive and position ourselves and the world around us depends largely on what we accept as truth – what we believe. For example, we believe too If it has to snow at Christmas, we will be irritated, dissatisfied or disappointed if it doesn’t. We will find it more difficult to celebrate Christmas in a warm region, find the reality that does not correspond to our accepted truth false.
There is a whole world of such assumptions in our heads that form our truth, that we rarely question and that we don’t even always realize are there. Some of the things we think are the way they are are actually of our own making.
In an article for Psychology Today, psychologist Michelle Maidenberg shared beliefs that some people believe are facts, but which can disrupt one’s relationship with self and self-development. According to the expert, the following assumptions, among others, are at least questionable.
Beliefs that harm one’s self-relationship
“I have to avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings as much as possible.”
Some people assume that they need to avoid unpleasant emotions such as sadness or fear as well as destructive thoughts such as self-doubt as much as possible or quickly get rid of them as soon as they arise. They see them as disruptive factors that drain their energy but are of no use. According to Michelle Maidenberg, our dark feelings and thoughts can provide us with valuable insights into ourselves if we allow them and look at them carefully. By opening up to our fears, disappointments, self-judgments, etc., we can learn to know and accept ourselves better, says the psychologist.
“If something goes wrong, someone has to be to blame.”
Many people find it easier to deal with an undesirable situation if they have an explanation for it and can name a reason and trigger that brought it about. And some choose the strategy of blaming themselves or other people. According to Michelle Maidenberg, however, this primarily leads to the accused feeling ashamed, having a bad conscience or feeling remorse, and no one makes an effort to understand the events in their complexity and reality. As a rule, when we blame a person and thereby dismiss an issue, we are reducing and simplifying. We deprive ourselves of the opportunity to develop a broader perspective and gain understanding of other people and ourselves.
“It’s important that I be prepared for the worst-case scenario.”
Basically, we can benefit from a realistic attitude and react more calmly and confidently to difficulties and crises if we are aware that they can occur. However, if we only feel comfortable and safe if we expect the worst case scenario and are prepared for it, then, according to Michelle Maidenberg, we are preventing ourselves from learning to believe in ourselves. We leave no room for feeling and trusting that we can handle things without foreseeing them, that we can improvise, and that we are stronger than we think.
Source used: psychologytoday.com