psychology
3 “negative” emotions that unfairly get a bad rap
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How useful is it to classify feelings as “good” or “bad”? After all, we can learn something from everyone and grow from it. These three supposedly negative emotions in particular have a lot to offer.
Most of us are now aware that there is no point in suppressing feelings. Whether we like it or not, we have to allow, feel and process every emotion before we can let it go. But there are still feelings that are classified as “negative” again and again. We should rather ask ourselves the question of how useful it is to classify emotions as good or bad. Because this evaluation alone can ensure that we process the supposedly negative feelings less well than the supposedly good ones. Here are three examples that clearly show that we can benefit from all feelings – if we only let it.
These 3 supposedly negative emotions have an unfairly bad reputation
1. Anger
Truly happy people are always deeply relaxed, friendly and, above all, never angry – that’s the cliché. This is absolute nonsense, we even need anger urgently. Because how unnatural would it be if we never got angry about anything? That would mean that we don’t care enough about anything to feel angry about it. Girls and women in particular often learn early on that it is not appropriate to get angry. Anger is the basis for change. Because only when something really annoys us does it give us the strength to raise our voice – and thus to be heard.
2. Remorse
Regret is out. We are constantly being told that we shouldn’t regret anything, because every mistake and every wrong decision makes us the person we are. That’s all well and good, but we first have to realize what went wrong. Because only when we can decide that we would rather not have quit our job or that we would rather not have moved in with our:our partner:in so early can we learn what we should do differently next time. So instead of demonizing regret, let’s see it as an important signpost for the future.
3. Fear
I read it again the other day: Fear is a bad advisor. But, is this really the truth? Sure, it makes sense that we sometimes leave our comfort zone and dare something new. But fear often tells us, plain and simple, what we don’t want. Of course, the art lies in recognizing the difference: am I afraid because something unusual is involved or because it would not do me any good? And sometimes it might even be both: Most of the time, jumping out of a plane is definitely outside of our comfort zone – but it’s also quite dangerous, plain and simple.
We should first learn to perceive fear neutrally and then to listen more closely to ourselves: What exactly am I afraid of? Where does the fear come from? Can I benefit if I overcome this fear now? Or does she rightly warn me of a danger? Fear is just a warning signal from our brain – neither negative nor positive. What we make of it is entirely up to us.
Sources used: mindbodygreen.com, scientificamerican.com