psychology
3 situations in which it can make more sense to unlearn than to learn
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Whether we like it or not, we learn throughout life and that is generally more of an advantage than a problem. Sometimes, however, it is important to unlearn something – no matter how difficult it is.
We learn from an early age: We take in information, draw conclusions from it, develop skills based on it, which we train, improve and in many cases develop into habits, so that at some point they hardly cost us any more effort – and we have free capacities to do something to learn new things. Whether walking, our mother tongue, the little multiplication tables, the dates of the Second World War, how we tie our shoes or prepare a cheese omelette, nothing that we can do as a matter of course was there from the start. It’s only there because we learned it at some point.
Learning is something natural for us and is relatively easy for us – especially if we have an interest in the subject of some kind. Unlearning, on the other hand, can be challenging, especially for long-practiced skills that we’re so adept at and use so often that we don’t even recognize them as learned behavior. However, sometimes it is helpful or even necessary to unlearn something. For example in the following situations.
3 situations in which it can be better to unlearn than to learn
1. The external circumstances of your life have changed.
Whether it’s a job change, moving to another city or neighborhood, a new relationship or changed physical conditions in the course of natural wear and tear with age, when our living conditions change, this usually means that we not only have to learn new things in order to adapt, but also let go of what you have learned – unlearn what you are used to. For example, if in my twenties it was part of my daily routine that I went for a ten kilometer jog every morning as a matter of course to relax, in my forties this behavior may suddenly start to lead to injuries because my body is less resilient. If the job doesn’t intervene before I start my career, which doesn’t leave me enough time for my habit. If, after moving, I live in an apartment with a kitchen window facing the street, it can make sense for me to give up – unlearn – the habit of shuffling naked to the coffee machine first thing in the morning to make myself coffee.
2. Your habits don’t leave you any room for flexibility.
When we observe that it is very difficult or impossible for us to deviate from our learned and accustomed behavior, although we want it or at least sometimes it would make life easier for us, this is usually a clear signal that it would do us good to do it to unlearn at least a little bit.
3. Your habits no longer serve you the way they once did.
Anyone who has even the slightest knowledge of, or experience with, addiction will be familiar with the following phenomenon: the effect that the object of addiction has in the beginning and in the early stages becomes weaker and weaker over time. This does not only apply to alcohol or other drugs, for which the body develops a higher tolerance with regular consumption. Eating disorders or people who self-harm also often find that over time their behavior becomes less and less effective for the function it once served—for example, providing a sense of control or calming, or providing a sense of accomplishment.
The same can also apply to habits that we do not associate with addiction. For example in the social field. For example, a person who learned in school that he is invited to every party as a class clown and is popular with everyone, may suddenly find in his adult life that nobody takes him seriously and that his behavior is met with rejection and exclusion. Most of the time we ignore the signs that a habit has become obsolete for a very long time before we come to terms with it. But then at the latest it is high time to start unlearning.
Unlearn: Here’s how
Unless it’s a foreign language we never use or the code of a lock that hasn’t been touched for years, unlearning can be a lot harder than learning. In order to unlearn something, we first have to be aware that we are doing it at all – which is not a matter of course with many habits. After that, and this is perhaps the hardest part, we have to keep it on target. Every time our brain wants to activate the learned and accustomed behavior, we have to recognize this and take countermeasures. Doing something else instead can help: It is usually easier for us to replace one behavior with another than to simply give it up. But even if unlearning habits sometimes takes effort and time, it often pays off to invest in it in the long run. Because in order for us to be able to develop further in life, we don’t always have to just learn – we sometimes have to unlearn something.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, Niels Birbaumer: Your brain knows more than you think