The voice in our head can be pretty loud – and unfortunately it’s often anything but nice. We have three strategies to placate your inner critic.
“You did a great job again”, “You always break everything” or “You can’t do it anyway” – sometimes things get pretty nasty in our heads. Unfortunately, the inner critic is often much louder than the cheerleader who believes in us and lovingly motivates us. Instead, there is a hail of mean comments, which unfortunately usually do not encourage us, but rather sabotage.
Many of us are familiar with this negative voice in our heads. Especially in stressful situations, it quickly gains the upper hand and causes gloomy thoughts and bad prospects. But how can we best deal with this inner critic? Platitudes like “Always think positive!” unfortunately only help a little. Instead, we can lovingly approach the bleating voice and take the wind out of its sails with an objective look.
The psychologist and author Dr. Ethan Kross told mindbodygreen about three strategies to calm the negative voice in your head.
3 tips to placate your inner critic
1. Build distance
The big problem with our inner critic is that he often gets too close and thus loses an objective view of the situation. That’s why it can help to take some distance – from the current situation, but also from our too negative view of it.
“Giving other people good advice is often much easier than giving it to ourselves when our thoughts are spinning,” explains Dr. crispy The psychologist therefore recommends changing perspective and looking at ourselves – and ultimately talking to ourselves – as we would a good friend. This can help to assess the situation more realistically and to determine: It’s not as dramatic as the little voice in my head is leading me to believe.
2. Look at the big picture
It can also help to put the current problem, which our inner voice is presenting us with as the end of the world, into the big picture. To do this, we can ask ourselves: How important will the problem or my mistake be in a week, a month, or a year? In most cases, the answer will probably be: not that important. “This gives us hope that our situation will improve,” said Dr. Ethan Kross. “And hope can be a helpful tool against the inner critic.”
And if the consequences of the current problem should be longer-term, beating ourselves down won’t help us either. Instead, we could actively search for solutions – for which we need a clear head.
3. Establish rituals
As a third strategy against the negative voice in our heads, Dr. Krusty rituals. Namely, those that can help us in acute situations to change our minds and thus to muzzle the inner critic – at least for a moment. Ethan Kross explains, “Rituals give us a sense of order and control.” And it is precisely this control that we often lack in difficult situations, which then activates the anxious-negative chatter of our inner voice.
The type of ritual that helps you is of course very individual. Maybe it’s a little walk to literally clear your head. You might also find it helpful to watch a cat video, do a few yoga exercises, or wash up. Experiment with what works best for you to placate your inner critic—then establish that ritual(s) as a routine. In difficult situations you can calm down and maybe regain a little objectivity.
Source used: mindbodygreen.com