come closer
3 ways to build emotional intimacy
This is how you can build emotional intimacy.
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How can I build intimacy with my counterpart? Various studies have examined this in more detail.
We all know them: the couples who seem to be unshaken by anything in the world, who still throw loving looks at each other years later, who experience adventures together and are still able to maintain their individuality. In short: the model couples that are otherwise only known from film and television.
But how do they manage to maintain the magic of love? How do you manage not to slip into a toxic dependency in your relationship? Science has grappled with these questions and found three possible answers.
touch is everything
There are couples who touch each other regularly and tenderly – and no, that doesn’t mean passionate French kisses in front of everyone, which makes it uncomfortable for the observers to be close to the couple. Rather, it is about subtle, delicate gestures of reassurance. A study came to the conclusionthat Loving touches are an important part of close relationships – especially romantic partnerships.
One other study found that touching someone close – especially your partner – can noticeably reduce stress levels. So a loving touch can not only be helpful in the moment, but also create long-term emotional intimacy that strengthens our overall romantic relationship.
What doesn’t tear you apart brings you closer together
In a other study ten couples who defined themselves as “happily married” were examined for their cohesion. The result: Significant – including negative – life events or crises made the couples more likely to rely on each other, which had a positive effect on their intimacy. Whether the life events were positive or negative, they brought the couples together and strengthened mutual trust – which, according to scientist Scott Gerschwer, is an important relationship value and also a dimension of intimacy.
The quote “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” by the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche can also be applied to a romantic relationship: Conflicts and crises that do not cause the relationship to break up help the relationship to deepen and both come out of the situation stronger as a couple.
Pornography can negatively impact intimacy
Pornography consumption can get noisy a study negatively impact relationship satisfaction. When examining over 2,200 couples, no significant connection could be established between porn and relationship satisfaction – except for a few men. Namely, those who consumed porn frequently reported a rather low level of emotional intimacy.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, frontiersin.org, journals.sagepub.com, tandfonline.com, onlinelibrary.wiley.com