We all know them, these people who seem to be unperturbed by nothing. How do they do it? We have a few ideas.
Not everyone can go through life like a Zen Buddhist and deal with everything that comes their way with complete equanimity. After all, we all have different personalities, influences and triggers that we encounter in very different ways. But what do people do differently who remain calm in (almost) every situation? Who don’t let anything stress them out, but react calmly, even when things get hairy?
People who (almost) always remain calm do things differently
1. Prioritize self-care
In order to react calmly in difficult situations, we need a certain level of resilience. And in order to be resilient, we need energy. That’s why it’s important that we take good care of ourselves and our needs. People who manage not to get stressed so quickly know this. They therefore prioritize their self-care and make sure they have enough time for rest and exercise and also eat a balanced diet. And that in turn helps them to have enough energy to deal with problems and stress.
2. Realistic expectations
We are usually stressed, annoyed or angry when something goes differently than we had planned or hoped. The problem is often not what happens – but that our expectations were not met. It can therefore help to work on these expectations and, if possible, lower them. For example, if you keep getting upset when you have to wait a long time at the doctor’s, you could try to look at your expectations. Because despite experiences to the contrary, you always seem to expect things to go faster in the waiting room. You will probably stress less in the long term if you plan for a longer wait time from the start.
3. Set boundaries
People who are tense and easily upset are often afraid of disappointing other people. They take on too much responsibility and often don’t dare to say no. People who mostly stay relaxed, on the other hand, set clear boundaries – in all situations. Whether at work, in the family or with friends: They communicate clearly what their needs are and when something is too much for them. This is not easy for all personality types, but in the long term it saves them a lot of energy if they don’t constantly have to do things that rob them of strength and ultimately their resilience.
4. Practice mindfulness
It sounds trite, but mindfulness is an important tool for achieving inner balance – and thus remaining calm even in difficult situations. It can help to meditate regularly and thus establish a basic calm in the mind. And in acute situations that demand a lot from us, it can also be helpful to take a few deep breaths and gain some distance from the situation before we react. That doesn’t mean that there won’t always be things that drive us mad, but mindfulness can help us not to react immediately to every trigger.
Sources used: yourtango.com, psychologytoday.com