So that the spark does not go out
4 Habits of Sexually Satisfied Couples
How does sexual satisfaction work in a partnership?
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Sex is important to many couples. But how can you maintain sexual satisfaction even after years? These are the 4 best strategies.
It can be difficult to keep the spark of passion in a relationship – after all, we live in a volatile world where everyday life throws us down with tasks and stress. Sex is very important for a relationship – insofar as both parties want to practice it at all – after all, physical intimacy plays an important role for satisfaction in a partnership, like studies show.
Couples who have sex at least once a week report higher (sexual) relationship satisfaction and are better able to deal with their partner’s mistakes and shortcomings. But sex cannot be separated from the rest of the relationship. With our togetherness we create the conditions for intimacy and passion – but we don’t always know how to do it. The research has this topic accepted: These are the most common strategies that sexually satisfied couples name.
1. The sex is planned
Now you might think: Excuse me? How unromantic is that? Sex has to be spontaneous, only then is it passionate! Well, at least that’s what we’re led to believe. But how often does it really happen that two people spontaneously want each other at the same time? Apart from the early days of a relationship, everything is new and exciting.
But when everyday life takes up more and more space, there is usually not much left for spontaneity. This is where it helps to keep sex on a shared schedule—like a kind of ritual dedicated to physicality. This may seem unusual at first, but when in doubt, look at it this way: Rarely do you go on vacation spontaneously, even that has to be planned. And yet we look forward to it very much – just as the pre-planning of sex can arouse anticipation in us.
2. You create the right atmosphere
As Ether Perel, a couples therapist, says, foreplay begins when the last orgasm has subsided. This means that sexually satisfied couples exchange ideas, flirt with each other and enjoy the time together before the actual sex.
They choose places and times when they are free from distractions and can focus on enjoying each other. The environment can be simple or, for example, lit by candlelight – each couple has their own ideas.
3. Both try something new every now and then
It’s wonderful when sexual desire can arise in a place that is safe and secure for both of you. But it’s always good to bring in something new, a little excitement and adventure, like studies suggest. Research shows that couples who try at least one new thing every month—such as a different position or environment—have a more satisfying sex life.
4. Perfection and satisfaction are two different things
Sex is messy, imperfect, even a little weird at times. Sexually satisfied couples are aware of this and do not fall into the trap of comparing their partner with others (preferably movie characters). Sex with real people in real life is just different from the pictures we might have in mind.
It’s good to be able to laugh together about something that didn’t go as hoped in bed. In the end, what is important is that you learn and grow together – and don’t see sex as a competitive sport.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, jstor.org, utpjournals.press, psycnet.apa.org