Sometimes we come to a point in our lives where we realize that we have to make an important decision. These questions will help you do it.
Especially when we consider how long we can live these days, it is remarkable how rarely most people find themselves in situations in the course of their lives in which they have to make truly groundbreaking decisions. When we choose a career path, we are probably taking a certain direction, and when we decide whether or not to have children, we are certainly making a lot of decisions. And beyond? It’s smaller decisions that determine our path in life. However, they can have great meaning for us personally – and can be difficult to make.
For example, from a distance it may not matter whether we spend our annual vacation in Denmark or Austria. But at some point in our lives, perhaps our health may depend on us getting good rest on that very vacation. And suddenly our choice wouldn’t matter at all.
Sometimes we just feel that a decision is more important to us than it might seem from another perspective. Even then, we don’t have to fear them, because ultimately we will be able to live with and come to terms with almost every decision we make. But we can definitely take the step we are about to take seriously – after all, it is about our feet, which can either get really wet or get stuck in some mud or carry us forward dry and safe. The following questions can help keep our feet dry – or intentionally put them in the puddle.
4 questions to help you make groundbreaking decisions
1. What would I do if no one in this world knew me?
Without us always being fully aware of it, the people around us influence us and shape our life path to a certain extent for us. So maybe we want our parents to be proud of us, our friends not to leave us behind, our siblings not to worry about us. Such concerns are not wrong or bad, but they flow into our decisions – often unnoticed. Which in turn doesn’t have to be wrong or bad. It’s just that sometimes it can lead us astray from the path for which we we would decide – if we were free from the influences and opinions of others.
While we will never completely separate ourselves from the contribution of our environment to our life decisions, we can at least simulate it and do some of it, using our imagination. How would we decide if we couldn’t tell anyone that we accepted a promotion or graduated or got married? Would we still do it? Or would motivation already be lower? Although we are connected to other people in our lives, we do not live to please others. Why don’t we incorporate this insight into our decisions more often?
2. Which path will benefit me more?
It would obviously be a questionable life strategy to always choose the harder, more uncomfortable path – but no less questionable is the more obvious strategy for many to always choose the easy one. As humans, we have the opportunity to learn, develop, and discover and develop new skills throughout our lives. But if we avoid every challenge, we only make very limited use of this opportunity.
As a rule, we do not have to consciously decide to be afraid or respectful of effort and discomfort, so we tend more easily towards the path that challenges us less than the path that allows us to grow. However, being clear about which option can really move us forward and enrich us with life lessons, skills and valuable experiences can make our decision more balanced and free.
3. If I flip a coin, what outcome would disappoint me?
Especially when making groundbreaking decisions, it is important for our inner peace that they not only seem sensible to us, but also feel good. However, we often don’t even know what they feel like – at least not until we meet them. To get a feel for this and test our emotions a little, we can imagine what it would be like for us if we were randomly chosen to choose one of the alternatives. Would we feel satisfied with that? Would we try to change fate? And if the presented coin toss doesn’t help: let’s throw the thing. And have our decision.
4. What is important to me in life?
Numerous factors play a role in most decisions, which have a more short-term significance and are specific to the specific case. Sorting them and sorting them in terms of their relevance is often difficult because they are new and strange to us and we can sometimes only estimate them when sorting. Ideally, however, we have a guideline that we are familiar with and that can provide us with guidance: our long-term values and life goals.
Whether our top priority is to live as emotionally balanced a life as possible or as luxuriously as possible, whether we would like to change the world or whether we primarily want to be in no one’s way, whether career advancement is more important to us than free time – we usually have questions like these earlier or later clarified for us and can use this clarity to find answers in many situations. Ultimately, with every decision it is important to find the path that brings us closest to our ideal life. And to do this, we must, above all, remember what our ideal life looks like.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, hackspirit.com