Psychology: 4 reasons why you grossly underestimate yourself

4 reasons why others see more in you than you do

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Do you think you’re okay? But if you are not – you are much more than that! There are at least four logical reasons why this may not be so clear to you.

Bet you consider yourself to be significantly less great and lovable than others perceive you to be? Possibly even as (almost) all the people who know you better? Not that this is now the greatest drama in the world! A certain amount of self-criticism, a little modesty and a few healthy self-doubts are good and ultimately make you the great person you are. Nevertheless: You will not learn to love yourself if you are ONLY humble all the time. That’s why you can make it clear to yourself every now and then: You are really a great, unique woman! But don’t get your hopes up too high: you will probably never see it as clearly as others anyway. Why not? For example, for these four reasons.

4 reasons why you have no idea what others appreciate about you

1. You got used to yourself.

Regardless of whether you are 16, 25, 34, 43 or older: You already have some experiences and moments with you and your characteristics under your belt! Your character, your point of view, your whole way – all of this is so familiar to you that you have become completely used to it and take it for granted. But what do you think, how refreshing your direct manner is to others when they experience you for the first time? Or how interesting, cute, and enjoyable is your reluctance? Believe it or not: Others see peculiarities and strengths in you that you have not noticed for a long time. And some people may even envy you something that has been bothering you about you for years.

2. You get fewer compliments than you deserve.

You don’t get that much good feedback from others? No wonder: the world isn’t just about you! Except maybe your mom, no one feels responsible for constantly encouraging you and complaining. In addition, it is especially difficult for people who are unsure of themselves and have doubts (about 99 percent of humanity) to simply compliment others.

For example, many would find it an admission of their own weakness if they said to you: “It’s amazing how you kept your calm at that moment”. Because they mean to admit: “I couldn’t have done that.” Or they fear that they will appear smaller if they admit their size to others. Yes, we all make life difficult for each other, but it sure won’t change anytime soon. So just keep it in the back of your mind and remember it the next time you haven’t received a compliment for a long time (but all the more negative feedback, because that is incredibly easy for most of them).

3. You compare yourself to others.

One is leaner, another more quick-witted and the third already has a job at 28 that you can only dream of. Yes, yes, there are exactly these three types in every woman’s life … We all compare ourselves to others and we don’t even have to open Instagram for that. After all, we are constantly surrounded by people, at work, in the neighborhood, in the family – they are just everywhere! And when we experience them that way, we can’t help but compare ourselves to them. In itself that’s not bad at all.

What is just a little annoying: That we often concentrate primarily on what we don’t have and what works better for others than for us. Typical human! But the joke is: Others compare themselves to you and then see first what they don’t have – crazy, right ?!

Well, one day, when we all understand that different is just different and neither better nor worse, and we have learned how strong we are, when we all band together and combine our positive qualities, we will get over this “negative” Compare “problem laugh heartily. And until then: Think more often about what YOU have, can and are and let the others – completely neutral – be the others.

4. You want the wrong people to be valued.

Similar problem as with the comparisons: Most of the time we want what we don’t have (or can’t get). That’s why we fall in love with guys who aren’t into us, want to impress colleagues who simply can’t do anything with our work, and generally want to win over people who tend to view us critically. Stupid! Because often enough we disregard or overlook all the people who love us and consider us valuable. In theory, they could often even teach us to perceive ourselves a little more positively …

Video tip: 7 signs you don’t love yourself enough

Signs that you don't love yourself: A young woman is hiding under her sweater