You dream and dream, but nothing happens? You can read here what can stand in the way of realizing your dreams.
Many dreams are not there to be realized. For example, we dream to act out possibilities and scenarios, and in doing so, to find out how we felt when they happened—sometimes while we were awake, sometimes while we were asleep. We dream and enter a fantasy to take a break from reality, to switch off and relax. And we dream to live out parts of ourselves that we want to keep to ourselves and untouched by the world and other people.
There are countless variants of dreams that are just that, and as such enough: dreams. They accompany us, change from time to time, fulfill their task. However, there are also dreams that show us the way in life or at least help us to find it. Dreams that show us goals, accompany us over a longer period of time and don’t let go until we at least try to realize them. We usually recognize such dreams because it is not enough for us to leave them in our imaginary world. That they awaken a need, a longing, or an anxiety in us instead of giving us a sense of fulfillment. As a rule, it is worth pursuing – even if there are obstacles to be overcome.
As part of her research, the author and expert in adult education and business administration Ruth Gotian dedicates herself in particular to the question of what can bring us down on the way to our personal success and what is necessary to achieve our goals. In a blog entry for “Psychology Today” she has compiled what she considers to be the most serious hurdles to dream fulfillment.
5 things prevent many people from achieving their dreams – you too?
1. Fear
Fear basically has the function of protecting us, but when we want to achieve something that we don’t necessarily have to achieve, it can get in the way in different ways. There would be the fear of failure and fear of realizing not being able, strong or free as we thought. The prospect of exertion can frighten us, as can the fear of giving up or losing something. If we want to fulfill a dream, in most cases it requires the courage to dare, to risk, to invest and to try something despite our fears. Our dreams rarely happen within our comfort zone. We can only track them by leaving them.
What can help: Trust in yourself, skepticism about your own fears. Most people are far more adaptable and resilient than they think. What they imagine to be a catastrophe often turns out to be an unpleasant experience when it happens, which may haunt them for a while, but which they survive and cope with well. Many things in life are worth accepting inconveniences and taking risks – dreams that otherwise stick with us and haunt us everywhere are often part of it.
2. Pressure from external influences
In many cases, our fellow human beings can inspire, motivate, support and positively influence us. On the other hand, they can put us under pressure and divert us from our personal path or our speed. For example, comparing ourselves to other people can lead us to doubt ourselves and our goals, as we strive to meet their expectations and seek their approval, we may neglect and recognize our own desires not at ourselves.
What can help: Consciously set yourself apart and distinguish yourself from other people. It is not for nothing that we are ourselves and nobody else. No two people have exactly the same history and walk the same path. It’s hard for us to stop comparing ourselves, but we can stop ourselves from emulating or competing with other people. As for other people’s expectations and approval, it is not our purpose in life to make other people happy or to follow a path that they approve of or that pleases them, any more than anyone has to do it for us. What others expect or value is their business, not ours. And a person who cares about us will adjust their expectations or attitude toward our decisions.
3. doggedness
A certain focus and discipline are usually necessary to achieve our goals or to make dreams come true. Doggedness, on the other hand, usually inhibits our flexibility and considerably limits our perception and our scope for action.
What can help: Stay relaxed and be open to changing plans. We cannot force anything and we cannot possibly anticipate all twists and turns in advance. Many unexpected events that seem to irritate and hold us back at first later turn out to be opportunities or strokes of luck or can be interpreted as such. Hardly any journey in life is about getting to the destination as quickly and directly as possible.
4. Impatience
Many dreams require a great deal of patience and perseverance – and in some cases we can’t even do anything to move forward, just wait. The need for quick wins and short-term happiness often makes it difficult for us to stay composed and stay true to our goal, especially when we don’t seem to be making any measurable progress.
What can help: Cultivate basic trust in life. Even if our lifetime is limited, in many cases there is no need to rush. The longer the path to a goal, the more experience we usually gain. Most of our dreams come true when we’re ready – and we don’t get to that moment with haste, but with patience.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, gluecksdetektiv.de