psychology
5 hidden causes of relationship problems that have nothing to do with your love
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Relationship problems aren’t always a sign that we’re not harmonizing as a couple or that our love is too weak. You can read here which factors independent of the partnership can lead to conflicts.
Regardless of whether it is a partnership or friendship, if there is a crisis in a relationship and there are problems, we usually look for the reasons for this in the relationship itself. Perhaps we don’t really fit together? Are our feelings not strong enough? Are we communicating wrong somehow? Do we take too little time for one another? Such questions are probably the first thing that pops into our head as soon as we realize that something is not going as it should between us. The causes of relationship problems do not always lie in the relationship itself. Two people can fit together wonderfully and like, love and respect each other as much as possible – and yet there can be crises and conflicts between them. The following factors, for example, have nothing to do with the relationship itself, but can still bring a lot of trouble to Paradise.
Five hidden causes of relationship problems that have nothing to do with you as a couple
1. Dysfunctional self-esteem
A disturbed self-esteem of one or both partners: inside or friends: inside can cause relationship problems in many ways: On the one hand, it is difficult for us to believe another person that he appreciates or loves us if we do not feel ourselves adorable. Mistrust and doubt are often the result and are difficult to overcome. On the other hand, if we feel inferior, we think we have to do a lot for the other person and our relationship with them in order to earn their: his love. We are ready to give everything, but do not dare to demand or expect anything. This creates an imbalance in the partnership or friendship that both parties will feel uncomfortable with in the long run. Other possible consequences of impaired self-esteem include shame and fear of opening up and being authentic, the inability to rely on the other, and possibly psychological and mental disorders that can weigh on the relationship.
2. Experience from previous relationships
As much as we may sometimes wish, we never get rid of our memories and experiences entirely. If we have experienced something in previous relationships that has hurt us very much, we may unconsciously associate love and closeness with (potential) pain. In order to protect ourselves from this, it can be that we build a kind of invisible wall around us, which stands between us and our: m friend: in – and secretly strains our relationship.
3. Problematic roll models
Not only the experiences from our own partner and friendships can have an impact on our relationship behavior: What other people set an example for us, especially in our childhood, also leaves a strong impression on us. If, for example, our parents argued a lot and stabbed each other in the back, we as adults may not be able to take teamwork and the most harmonious, peaceful manners possible as a matter of course and a basic requirement for a partnership. Or resolve conflicts in a healthy, constructive way. In this way, the relationships of other people close to us can radiate into our relationship and cause problems that have nothing to do with our feelings or with our friends.
4. Relationship with parents
How we grew up and how our parents were able to look after us and show us their love, has a great impact on our ability to relate and our attachment style, according to the psychologist. For example, if our parents showed little presence and appeared to us rather unreliable, this can mean that we tend to avoid closeness and develop fear or even panic of commitment.
5. Unclear demands on a relationship
Another possible underlying cause of relationship problems is a lack of clarity. If one or both of the people involved do not know what they expect and need from this relationship, what they are willing to give and why they have decided, for example, for this life model with a partner, this can lead to uncertainties and discrepancies trigger.
If we care about a person and our relationship with them, it certainly makes sense to look for the specific causes of recurring problems and conflicts. And should these causes actually lie outside our relationship, they may even be discovered and eliminated with the help of this person.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, psymag.de