Finding the perfect gifts can be a real nightmare. These 5 psychological principles will help you make a good choice.
The expensive perfume or would you prefer the spa voucher? Finding the perfect gift for our loved ones seems impossible – and yet we try again every year. Seeing the joy on the faces of friends and family triggers feelings of happiness.
But deciding what to give can cause a lot of stress and feel like a test of our relationships. “It takes a lot of mental energy,” Professor Julian Givi from West Virginia University tells The Guardian. Taking perspectives can be extremely stressful for our little gray cells.
Luckily, we can learn to give gifts – because there’s science behind it. Researchers like Givi have identified a number of so-called cognitive biases that mislead our judgment. These five principles will help you find better gifts – and give our loved ones the greatest possible joy.
Think beyond the moment
The gift that elicits the greatest reaction when presented is not necessarily the best. Many of our mistakes arise from a kind of short-sightedness and a “natural gap in perspective,” says Professor Adelle Yang from the National University of Singapore. The giver is focused on the moment of handover and hopes for the most surprised reaction possible to his/her gift. The professor calls this phenomenon the “smile-seeking hypothesis,” meaning you try to put a smile on the recipient’s face with your gift.
The person receiving the gift, on the other hand, feels more gratitude if the gift provides long-term joy. For example, an impressive bouquet of flowers wilts after a while and loses its petals, while a houseplant looks pretty for much longer.
Yang also found that people tend to make better decisions when they know they won’t be there when the gift is opened and so won’t be able to see the recipient’s reaction. Her tip is therefore to ask yourself beforehand whether you would also send the gift by post.
Experiences are better than tangible things
Material objects like a sparkling necklace or a chic handbag make a lot of impression at first glance. The person giving the gift is happy to be able to present something impressive and the recipient’s reaction is usually exuberant. However, according to Professor Jeffrey Galak from Carnegie Mellon University, experiences make you happier overall. New, exciting experiences, such as a cooking class or a concert by your favorite band, are remembered for longer and connect you.
Forget the price tag!
For many people, giving gifts is all about price. We often believe that the price of the gift reflects our appreciation for the person. Social comparison with others reinforces our obsession with the price tag. According to the researchers, however, we significantly overestimate the importance of monetary value. In reality, the value of our gift compared to others makes little difference in the recipient’s perception – “They are simply happy about a gift,” says Galak.
Overcome selfishness
Giving is actually an altruistic act – we are doing something good for someone else. Sometimes, when choosing a gift, we are still guided by selfish thoughts such as envy or the desire for uniqueness. For example, imagine that your sister wants trendy new sneakers for Christmas – but yours would look totally uncool compared to that. In such situations, according to the scientists, people often choose an inferior gift: they would rather risk disappointing the person than trigger feelings of envy in themselves. So if we overcome our selfishness, we can give much better gifts.
Don’t be afraid of sentimentality!
When it comes to a gift for someone close to you, you might think about something personal or homemade: an engraved piece of jewelry for your loved one or a loving photo album for your parents. Often there is a concern that the gift might not be practical or expensive enough. But according to the researchers, this is unfounded – people prefer to receive a gift with emotional value. That makes her really happy.
Sources used: theguardian.com