Do you struggle emotionally with annoying little things, even though you clearly see that they have no meaning for you and your life? You can read what could be behind it here.
A colleague’s thoughtless comment, cheese mush instead of truffle mayo when ordering fries, a supposedly undeliverable package after no one rang the bell, a stroller parade in the hallway. Our everyday lives are full of annoying little things that we could get upset about – without us even having time to look on the Internet. On some days and phases we gracefully meander our way through the strollers, combine picking up the package with a scoop of strawberry sorbet, then dip our fries into our milkshake and smile at our colleague. And on others – everything just annoys us. If the most unimportant little things clutter our thoughts and the excitement about them dominates our feelings, we are far from dedicating ourselves to the things in our lives that mean something to us and fill us with joy. And this despite the fact that we rationally classify the agitators of our inner lake as trivialities.
As a rule, it depends on our condition, how irritable we are and how much something annoys us. However, the connection is not so simple that we could clearly say that if everything is okay, we won’t get upset, otherwise we will. If we unintentionally invest more capacity in frustration over unimportant things than corresponds to our general prioritization and value system, there can be a variety of reasons behind it. Among others, the following.
5 possible reasons why you get upset over little things
This distracts you from more unpleasant things
Sometimes, when we become overly upset about trivial things, it can be an avoidance strategy and an indication that there are issues in our lives that we are unwilling or unable to confront. Maybe we feel dissatisfied with one area of our life or are cultivating or developing an unhealthy habit that we can’t let go of. Things like this can require a lot of energy and attention that we don’t always have right away. So we’ll just get upset about thoughtless comments for a while because it’s easier. Until we are ready or forced to deal with the more important issues.
You need a valve
If we are or have been acutely charged but have not been able to easily act on our anger (for example because we are or are in a social context in which it would be inappropriate), trivialities can provide an opportunity to relieve pressure. Maybe we don’t solve the problem that caused our anger in the first place, but some problems we just can’t solve, we have to find a way to live with them. If in such cases it helps us to get upset about the strollers in the hallway or to throw the cheese mush into the trash at high speed and our anger becomes more bearable as a result, an annoying little thing can certainly be an effective outlet.
You are not completely yourself
Many people are least irritable and most calm when they are rested and confident and aware of their personal goals, values, and priorities. However, this state is not always easy to achieve or even maintain. Very few people can take time every day to feel within themselves, explore their needs and desires and be deeply grateful for what they have. Most people occasionally feel unbalanced and have to get through it somehow. And that makes many people prone to getting upset over little things. Because they are then unable to see them in a larger context and assign them the (low) priority that they actually deserve in their life construct.
The little things have more meaning than you realize
Some little things look like something, but in reality they are not. Or at least point to something that is important to us. For example, a colleague’s thoughtless comment may be an expression of an underlying disrespect towards us that we are unwilling to tolerate. Or the fries with truffle mayo are something so special to us, after years of being afraid of fried or fatty foods and struggling to bring ourselves to order them, that we feel deeply sabotaged when we find cheese mush in the delivery bag . Some little things are big for us personally. And sometimes our excitement serves the purpose of drawing our attention to it.
You’ve gotten used to it
Whatever the original reasons we started getting upset over little things, the more we do it, the more likely we are to get used to it. To put it simply, we can imagine it as if there were two possible paths in our brain: one leads us into a state of indignation when faced with a stimulus, the other, over a few bridges, into a position in which we laugh at the stimulus as a triviality . Every time we walk down one of these paths, we tread on it and make it more comfortable, inviting and easier for us to walk. And the more inviting and easier a path is for us to follow, the more likely we are to choose it again. And again, and again.
Conclusion
Getting upset and annoyed, even if it’s just about small things, is not inherently wrong, unhealthy, stupid or bad. What we feel always has a background and a justification and can offer us valuable help in life. If we are annoyed by our own irritability and wish we could be more calm, it is usually more productive to look at the reasons for our irritability and address them rather than just getting upset about the fact that we are upset. All in all, almost everything that makes up our lives is little. Some we get upset about, others we can enjoy.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, welt.de