psychology
5 Reasons Why Social Interactions Really Tire You
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Being with others can be nice for some people, but it saps a lot of their energy. Exactly why this is the case can be very different. Five possible reasons.
First things first: how hard social interactions tax you is fundamentally related to your personality type. If you’re more of an extrovert, you probably enjoy spending time with people and get energy from it. Introverts, on the other hand, can enjoy being with friends or at parties right now, but they recharge their batteries when they are alone. Other people are more likely to drain them of energy.
It’s a spectrum – most people are ambiverted, ranging somewhere between introverted and extroverted, depending on the circumstances and how they are on the day.
But if you are one of the more introverted people, then you probably like to have enough time for yourself and your peace. If you spend a lot of time in society, you need to recover from it at some point. But the amount of effort you put into social interactions can vary — and depend on these reasons, among others.
That’s why social interactions really tax you
1. You’re an introvert but come across as an extrovert
The most obvious reason is that you are an introvert but act like you are an extrovert. Maybe you think you’ll be labeled as a shy bore if you say you need some alone time. But maybe you are not even aware that you need a rest in between to recharge your batteries. Whatever it is, it means you don’t give yourself enough time to recover, leaving you feeling drained all the time.
2. You don’t listen to your needs
You probably realize that you’re one of those more introverted people whose social battery eventually runs out. But is it possible that you don’t perceive your needs well enough and, for example, spend too much time with others or with too many people at the same time? What exactly robs us of the most energy varies. Some can spend a lot of time in company, as long as it is with one or a maximum of two people. Others don’t bother too much with large groups either, but social gatherings may last an hour or two at most for them. Find out what works best for you – and try to shape your social life – as much as you can – around it.
3. You are connected to other people 24/7
We often forget that social interactions aren’t just face-to-face conversations—or even actual conversations. WhatsApp messages, Instagram comments or just photos as well as notifications from news apps are forms of interaction that can take a tremendous amount of energy. It can be very healing to put your cell phone in another room for a while in the evening (silently!) and not even notice what the world wants from you. If you don’t have the willpower to do this, you could also set up off times on your smartphone when no one or only people or apps you select can get through.
4. You’re annoyed with the person
Of course, if you’re feeling particularly drained after a meeting, it can also be simply because of the person or group. Maybe you are – possibly unconsciously – annoyed by the person or their behavior or you just don’t have that much in common anymore. Maybe on a tour, the person talks about themselves and rarely asks how you’re doing. Or you have the feeling that you cannot be yourself, but that you can only discuss certain topics in a filtered way. It’s harder than we often think.
5. Something else is draining your energy in the background
Sometimes it might not be the social interactions that are so taxing – at least not exclusively. Perhaps you are not in the best of health, you have a lot of stress at work or problems in the family. All of these things can affect your energy level – and make even short meetings with people that would normally not take you much strength, but might even be fun.
So social interactions are (slightly) less stressful
Have you discovered one or more factors that contribute to the fact that parties or meetings with friends are more exhausting for you than they actually have to be? The most important thing is mindfulness: listen to yourself and question what feels good for you and what doesn’t. Of course, not every social interaction can be avoided, for example in the job context or in the family. But maybe you can adjust the framework so that you feel more comfortable with it, or ensure that you can recharge your batteries in other areas of your life.
Sources used: mindbodygreen.com, psychologytoday.com