Really understanding other people is surprisingly difficult. These signs indicate that you usually succeed particularly well.
We can talk to each other. We can read the facial expressions and gestures of our fellow human beings. And we can, to some extent, infer from ourselves to other people because of numerous similarities and a high level of kinship that binds us all together. Nevertheless, it is not that easy to really understand other people.
There is, for example, listening, which is not at all unproblematic. The more of our own thoughts or worries or tiredness we have in our heads, the harder it is to take in something that another person wants to give up. Then there is this certain measure: On the one hand, we have a lot in common, on the other hand, numerous differences make us individual, so drawing conclusions about others from us always has the potential to be wrong. And these are certainly not the only or greatest difficulties.
Luckily, on the one hand, it’s no tragedy that we sometimes don’t get along very well – otherwise we would have banged our heads a few thousand years ago and wouldn’t be meeting for dinner tonight. On the other hand, we have a lifetime to learn to better understand other people. The following characteristics are signs that you are already on a promising path and have a particularly good understanding of people.
5 signs that you have a special talent for understanding other people
1. You can learn a lot from other people.
Do you often experience that other people inspire you? That they have something to say to you that interests you, makes you think, and enriches you in some way? If so, that is an indication that you listen carefully to others and meet them with curiosity and openness. It also suggests that you generally feel that the perspectives of those around you are just as valid and meaningful as your own, and that you have a modicum of respect for each person. All of these are important prerequisites for understanding other people. However, it is by no means easy or self-evident to fulfill them: many people are overwhelmed by their fundamental willingness to learn something new, to question their own perception and to put it into perspective. They then interpret what the other person tells them in such a way that it confirms them or fits into their worldview instead of expanding it. As a result, they learn less from other people – because they may not be in the condition to understand them.
2. You rarely feel attacked.
Do you tend to assume that when people behave rudely towards you, it is based on a misunderstanding? Do you think that a person is probably preoccupied with something that has nothing to do with you if they concern you, but personally you hardly feel offended or even threatened? If so, on the one hand there is a very high chance that you are correct in your assessment. On the other hand, it shows that you have a good feeling for people – and a trust that is quite appropriate. So it tends to be out of character for a person to intentionally hurt others. It is uncharacteristic for people to intentionally hurt others or attack them for no reason. Certainly it happens. Again and again. But more often than not, it’s accidental, self-injured, or motive for some reason other than malicious intent to shake someone else with an attack. It is understandable that many people still feel shaken by something like this. A hint for a particularly good understanding of people when some people do not.
3. You have a diverse circle of friends.
Are you friends with sometimes very different types of people and do you enjoy how different people keep bringing out different sides of you? Then you have the rare good fortune to be able to appreciate one of the wonders of humankind as wonderful and enjoyable instead of feeling overwhelmed or frightened by it: its complexity and diversity. While some people are primarily attracted to people who are like them and meet their expectations and experiences, there are others—like you—who find diversity an asset and can embrace it. And who like to be surprised.
4. You are bad at convincing other people.
Discussions not your thing? Shall you get other people to share your opinion, do you usually fail like a penguin attempting to fly? This could either be because you haven’t taken a rhetoric course before, or because you don’t want to convince others at all. That you understand other people, even if they think differently than you, and assume that there are good reasons for it – whether you know those reasons or not. Seeing through other people can definitely help to influence, manipulate and persuade them. Understanding them, on the other hand, often gets in the way – and apart from that leads to wanting it only in exceptional cases.
5. Other people open up to you and ask for advice or your opinion.
Do people occasionally confide in you about their problems? Do they turn to you for help or advice? If so, that suggests they feel understood by you—which isn’t 100% proof, but it suggests that you actually do understand them quite well. Most people have a good sense of whether another person is seeing them or not. Whether someone approaches them with sincere interest and attention or with a judgment already made and a finished picture. Perhaps not all people have an excellent talent for understanding others. But almost every person has a need to be understood.
Sources used: psychologytody.com, hackspirit.com