Psychology: 5 signs you recognize emotionally unavailable people

Emotionally unavailable?!
5 signs you’ll recognize it

Our emotions serve many different functions. For example, they can alert us when something is wrong in our lives, or show what or who is particularly important to us. They help us make decisions and can reveal how we see and relate to the world. They also distinguish us from others, make us unique and irreplaceable. And they create a connection with our fellow human beings, because without emotions we could not love, empathize or have real understanding.

But despite all the enthusiasm: Very few people deal with their own emotions so smoothly. Some increase their moods, others try to ignore or even kill off their feelings, others regularly fail to understand their inner movements correctly – and some simply do not manage to allow deep, emotional connections to others. They can be as present, lovable, funny, charming and sociable as they are, but they always remain distant and emotionally unavailable – for friends as well as for potential partners. The following characteristics are typical of such emotionally unavailable people.

5 signs you recognize “emotionally unavailable people”.

1. You are remarkably sociable and outgoing

Emotionally unavailable people are typically super small talkers, incredibly likeable, funny, open, interesting, curious – people you like immediately and want to get to know better. One reason: Emotionally unavailable people (EUP) are just so adept at socializing and connecting with others on a superficial level that it’s child’s play. Casual connections are their comfort zone and compensate for the lack of deep relationships in their lives as they satisfy their need for community and social belonging.

2. They like to meet up in groups

Meetings for two are generally not necessarily in the interest of emotionally unavailable people. They prefer to meet several people (at least when there is no pandemic…) because the conversations and dealings with each other in groups are usually more non-binding and more superficial than on a date for two.

3. They always seem to be in a good mood

If possible, EUPs never discuss serious problems with others. They are rarely seen angry, sad or in a bad mood, instead they always seem happy and dancing through life. What is behind it: Showing yourself vulnerable to someone creates intimacy and a lot of closeness and commitment. And that’s what scares emotionally unavailable people the most.

4. You are available for every (holiday) flirt

EUPs are only too happy to get involved in relationships that basically have no chance due to external circumstances. A passionate holiday flirt, a friendship via Instagram or Twitter – emotionally unavailable people like to invest time and energy in such connections, because real closeness is almost impossible. And should it be imminent…

5. They distance themselves as soon as things get serious

… emotionally unavailable people withdraw immediately. Suddenly, nothing more is heard from them, they are too busy and now technically almost unattainable. They typically ghost others when they harass them, that is, when they show sincere interest.

Important: Whether emotionally unavailable people are inevitably unhappy and miss something can hardly be judged. Certainly deep, stable and long-term relationships represent an enrichment in many people’s lives, give them stability and create meaning. But just as fulfilling for EUPs can be their freedom and the inspiration they draw from the multitude of their contacts. What matters is how we feel and how satisfied we are with our lives, and that is absolutely individual. Those who are emotionally unavailable to others and therefore happy should remain so, those who feel lonely jump over their own shadow and learn to let others get to them (of course it’s difficult, but it’s definitely possible). Every person and every life plan is right in its own way – just not for everyone …

sus
Bridget