There are some factors that can hinder us in our self-development and personality development – for example these.
Nobody knows what to do with our lives. Growing and maturing beyond ourselves, that is, becoming wiser, expanding our worldview, becoming more competent and unshakable, and the like, appears to be a more meaningful, desirable purpose in life. In any case, learning and adapting better and better through change are two skills that characterize people – and it is certainly not wrong to cultivate them as an individual.
The following factors can hinder our growth. Therefore, disregarding this may inspire some people and advance them on their personal path.
When you say no to these things, you can transcend yourself
1. The goals of others
With other people, it can quickly appear to us that they know exactly what they are doing. As if they had an untouchable master plan for their lives. Complete training, work 4.36 years, have 1.3 children, buy an apartment on the Baltic Sea, lease a new car every two years and happiness is complete. Or a completely different way of life. No matter who we follow as a role model, the life of a stranger can seem orderly, right, meaningful and effortless to us as viewers, which can lead us to believe that if we lived the same way, we would be happy. But, firstly, no life is as effortless as it may seem, and secondly, different people with different walks of life are comfortable.
And thirdly, we cannot find our own way as long as we orientate ourselves on those of others. Anyone who breaks away from the goals that people pursue in their personal environment or that society suggests and finds out what their personal wishes are in life can grow as an individual and lead a harmonious life.
2. Security at all costs
As humans, we feel a natural and very reasonable need for certainty and clarity. After all, our top priority is to survive, and avoiding danger and obscurity is a proven way to do that. However, in order to develop ourselves further, it is often necessary to dare something and to accept uncertainty – because ultimately there is uncertainty in everything new and unknown.
Maybe we don’t like it somewhere else as well as at home, maybe we don’t feel more comfortable in a new job and even less comfortable than in the old one, maybe we’re worse off without a partnership than with the person at our side whom we don’t love, but at least know. It may all be like that, but we only know it and thus become wiser when we try it.
3. Only the comfort zone is comfortable
Some people hold themselves back by telling themselves that being outside of their comfort zone must be uncomfortable and downright awful. But that doesn’t have to be the case. It’s true that if we don’t take on any challenges, avoid all change and variety, and do nothing that requires effort or effort, we tend to grow less. So if we always stay in the middle of our comfort zone. But what is not true is that we need to be uncomfortable at the edge of this zone or beyond its borders.
With a little creativity and awareness, stepping out of our comfort zone can make us more beautiful and comfortable, provided we know each other to some extent. Does getting up early when we travel stress us out? Then we’ll set it up so that we can leave late. Are we afraid of disappointing ourselves when we take on a challenging project? So why don’t we lower our expectations? The lower we set the threshold at the edge of our comfort zone, the more often we can enter and cross it. And the freer and more self-determined we become ourselves.
4. Extremes
As humans, we tend to think in black and white and have a high affinity for extremes. Yes, no, either, or, for, against – two opposites are simple and clear, we can quickly and easily distinguish them from each other and have our peace. However, it is often the confrontation with the space between the extremes and the recognition of this in-between that brings us further and allows us to grow.
The fact that something can be good and bad at the same time, that we don’t have to understand everything in order to be able to accept it and let it be as it is without finding it stupid – opening ourselves at least a little to the complexity and diversity of the world enriches us and offers us more freedom to shape our lives and develop ourselves.
5. Exhausting people
Most people find it very, very difficult to get out of relationships – even if they are not good for them and are primarily a burden. Whether fear of loneliness, empathy, or habit, the reasons for this are as numerous as they are understandable. However, the result is: These people, to whom we hold on and who hold us and hold us, prevent us from opening up to people who can move us forward and help us to develop further and to discover new sides of ourselves. Not only do they cost us strength and energy, they also deprive us of the opportunity to have adventures and experiences (with other people) that can be valuable for us.
Sources used: hackspirit.com, medium.com