Not feeling well enough from time to time is not uncommon. You can read here which thoughts can help with feelings of inferiority.
The influencer who already earns a three-digit amount a year at the age of 23. The friend who has children every year and who publishes a novel during her parental leave. Or the buddy who takes care of his demented mother and still somehow manages to be your best friend. Sometimes it can happen that we get into a situation where we ask ourselves: How do the others do it? And why do I manage so little?
The occasional feeling of not being good enough is not unusual and also no reason to seek professional help immediately (unless it becomes a permanent guest in our soul world!). Most of the time it does not want to call us to doubt ourselves, but rather our standards and values. The following thoughts can help if the feeling arises and doesn’t want to go away right away.
These thoughts can help reduce feelings of not being good enough
1. What is actually good enough?
The prerequisite for us not feeling good enough is that there is a good enough – but what exactly is that supposed to be? Who determines what is good enough? And who wants to know, if you please?
We pick up on many of our expectations of ourselves and the ideas of how we should be through our participation in our society. A monogamous relationship, a tidy, well-organized household, the first child at 35 at the latest. If we still haven’t gotten up in our job after three years, we’re doing something wrong. And if we don’t play at least one musical instrument, do sports and read two books a month in our free time, we might have to book coaching with a focus on time management. Uff.
In fact, all of these expectations and demands on ourselves are mere inventions. We don’t know what the meaning of our life is, so we come up with one (collectively) and determine what is good and what is bad. Often we don’t feel good enough when we believe that we are socially left behind or that we cannot keep up with others. But we do not know whether our society as a whole is developing in a good direction at all, whether the norms and expectations that we assume for our lives are really that ingenious. After all, the development of mankind in the last few hundred years has brought us a pandemic, a flood disaster in Central Europe and a few animal species that are becoming extinct.
The fact is: there is no such thing as an objective measure of good enough. We are all different and our uniqueness is what sets us apart and what only we can contribute to this world. Doing our best is good enough.And that looks different for everyone: m of us.
2. Not being perfect makes you a good person.
The psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott developed the theory of the “good enough mother” based on his research in the 1950s, the core idea of which is that mothers who make mistakes are better mothers than perfect mothers because they teach their children and exemplify their mistakes to deal with. In friendships or partnerships, our mistakes relieve the other person and vice versa, because they help to accept and forgive one’s own mistakes. Mistakes make us sympathetic and approachable, our mistakes can in a certain way even be good for other people.
Now that doesn’t mean we should make extra mistakes and never have to apologize for anything again. It just means that we don’t have to be flawless or perfect to be good enough. Most of the time, our mistakes make sense, even if we get angry about them.
3. You are more than what you achieve and own.
Most of us are replaceable in the job we do. Likewise, someone else could live in our apartment and own the things we own. But nobody in our team could relax the mood with a casual saying like we do. Nobody could listen to our friend and be there for her as we are. Our personality is what makes us different and unique. How we perceive, feel, react and interact with other people is something special. And it doesn’t matter whether we have firm buttocks or one with dents, whether we serve food, care for the sick or build houses. When another person feels love or benevolence for us, it is a strong indication that we are good enough.
4. What would you say to yourself as your friend?
Whenever we beat ourselves up (and most of the time it does when we are not feeling good enough), the trick helps is to pretend we are our best friend. How would you deal with her? What would you tell her Probably that she expects too much from herself and that it is perfectly sufficient who and what she is. Or?
5. Since you cannot let your feeling go away: meet him with curiosity.
The same applies to the feeling of not being good enough as to all of our (unpleasant) emotions: They do not disappear simply because we want to be rid of them. And if they are already there, we can ask them where they come from. When did it start that you didn’t feel enough? What triggered the feeling? What is the perception or attitude behind it? What would have to happen or what would you have to do to make it stop? Because even if the statement that you are not good enough is wrong, your feeling is not. Something wants to tell you and it will probably go in a direction like: Relax yourself. Breath deep. All is well. You are enough Sometimes our feelings just choose a strange way to show us the truth.
Source used: psychologytoday.com