psychology
If you have these problems, you are (probably) way too nice
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There are many benefits to being nice – but it also has a few problems. You can read what these are here.
There is no question about it: It is certainly not easy for unsympathetic people! You will never be smiled at, you only get very small balls in the ice cream parlor, and in the supermarket no one will even let you in if you just want to buy a glass of gherkins and have the money in your hand to pay (because they are full, of course open the shop instead of asking kindly …). There are some advantages to being nice! Just don’t overdo it with being nice, because that can lead to the following problems …
If you have these problems, you are too nice
1. You have been standing on the spot for a long time
Regardless of whether professionally or privately, in order to move forward and change something, we (unfortunately?) Have to be uncomfortable and say clearly what we want. Stupid for people who do not want to offend at any price and always do what they are told to do quietly and obediently – because this is exactly the obstacle they often get stuck with …
2. Nobody has an ear for your problems
Hyper-cute people have scruples about burdening others with their worries and problems – and since no one else can read other people’s minds, they have to deal with most things on their own. The tricky thing about it: In your position it feels as if you are not noticed and as if nobody has an ear for you and your worries. In addition, they see it as their job to feel when their fellow human beings are doing badly and therefore expect the same (at least unconsciously) from others.
3. You often come up short
Needs, interests, opinions, objections – do hyper-cute people even have that kind of thing? Doesn’t matter, because they are usually hardly taken into account anyway. Whether it’s about the last piece of cake, a legitimate question just before the end of the meeting or the desire to go to the sea rather than the mountains, too nice people hold back on all these matters and let others go first. With the result, of course, that they are left behind.
4. You don’t hear an apology when one would be appropriate
Like it or not, people who are too nice always give others the impression that everything is okay, even if they are deeply hurt inside. No wonder so many people simply and unnoticed owe them apologies.
5. Other people flirt with you even though you are not “really” interested in them
Well, that too is a danger that people who are too nice often live with should not be underestimated: that other people think that there is an intention or interest behind their friendliness, when in truth they are “just nice”. Particularly tricky about it: As a hyper nice person, reject someone … emigrating or witness protection programs are easier.