psychology
5 Uncomfortable Findings That Show Your Confidence Is Growing
© zkolra / Guido
On the way to greater self-confidence, one encounters quite unusual feelings. But don’t worry: they are only signposts in the right direction.
growing hurts We get to feel that as children. When the limbs tugged and tugged, we were rewarded a few days later with at least one centimeter more on the door frame. It’s similar with personal development: anyone who has ever had therapy, coaching or self-awareness knows: digging around inside can be a lot of fun at first, but in between it gets exhausting. But here, too, strength is rewarded with growth. We may not always be able to see them, but we can feel them.
Let’s imagine our self-confidence as an inner child. If it is small at first, perhaps shy, puberty follows in the next development phase. So before it is fully grown, it can get a little rebellious. Incidentally, this is especially true if we ourselves (or those around us) have kept it small for far too long! So: as your self-confidence grows, you may sometimes experience uncomfortable moments and feelings. This is completely normal. In most cases, these situations show you that your limits have been ignored for too long – and you are now developing an awareness of yourself. Congratulations!
5 uncomfortable realizations on the way to a healthy self-confidence
1. Friendships are not always balanced
It’s a really nasty dynamic: people with low self-esteem seem to be attracted to toxic people. But we don’t even realize that for a long time – until we take care of ourselves, our self-confidence grows and we dare to take a step back. Viewed from the outside, one sometimes notices that not all relationships (not just romantic ones, but above all friendly ones) are good for us. Rather, we may have put away far too much for far too long to be liked. This is now sour and can certainly disappoint. But: use the irritation and be annoyed at times. If you recognize, respect, and state your boundaries, those around you are more likely to do the same.
2. You are being treated unfairly – and you allowed yourself to be treated unfairly
It can be the same for us at work. With growing self-confidence, we suddenly see the world more clearly and objectively – and not only get to see beautiful things. This often shows our sense of justice. Sometimes you are treated unfairly. But sometimes you allow yourself to be treated unfairly. This realization can help us to feel more powerful again and to redefine what we can and cannot do with ourselves.
3. You don’t like art exhibitions at all
Or game nights, cooking classes or soccer games. Here you can add any hobby that you mainly pursue with friends. Because: with a lack of self-confidence, you are automatically more likely to be carried away by others than to say no and assert your own interests. When self-esteem increases, we notice: my friends also like me when I have other interests – and I don’t always have to be there to belong.
4. Others sometimes find you stupid
Always do everything right for everyone, just don’t attract negative attention, prefer to be liked by everyone. Who feels caught in these aspirations? Der:die should have noticed by now that one person is guaranteed to fall by the wayside and that is you. When our self-confidence awakens, we trust ourselves more, speak our mind more often, stand up for ourselves, do what we want, finally live our own life. What happens automatically? That we sometimes touch. This feeling seems unbearable at first, but if you manage to endure it, you can look forward to a double growth spurt afterwards!
5. You’re angrier than you think
Furious? Oh nonsense, not me, no, everything is fine! Confrontations are often smiled away by less confident people. And this mechanism solidifies so much that it is played automatically even when our self-confidence has actually already grown. How do we even notice it then? By perhaps still smiling, but bubbling up inside – and even getting annoyed for hours afterwards. Excellent! Anger is our best friend and border guard in times of growth. Let’s listen to her.