Our routines and way of life inevitably affect how we feel and who we are. These behaviors have a negative effect on our self-esteem in particular.
Self-esteem is a concept closely related to self-esteem, self-worth, and self-efficacy. William James was one of the first psychologists to describe it in the 19th century as the relationship between our perceived and our ideal self. The greater the gap between the image we believe represents our actual personality and the image we aspire to and would like to fulfill, the lower our self-esteem. Or put it the other way around: The closer we feel to who we want to be, the greater our self-esteem.
Much like self-esteem and the like, our self-esteem affects our health and well-being, how we behave in relationships, and how we live our lives. We can strengthen our self-esteem, for example, by practicing observing ourselves and making conscious decisions that bring us closer to our ideal self. On the other hand, when we let certain behaviors become habits and patterns, we can also weaken, even destroy, our self-esteem. Paying attention to them and always having a critical eye is certainly not wrong in terms of our self-esteem.
6 Habits That Are Reliably Destroying Your Self Esteem
1. Persistent whining and complaining
By whining or explicitly complaining about grievances, we can let off steam and relieve ourselves in this way, so there is nothing wrong with that in principle. However, if we go past the point of relief and remain in the mode of complaining without taking any further initiative to change or deal with the states we are complaining about, we assume a victim role, feeling powerless and feel pitiable – and therefore probably not in the way we would like to be.
2. Constantly asking for help
Being able to ask other people for help is a desirable skill and shows self-confidence and wisdom. However, if we immediately turn to others for support at every opportunity without ever trying to help ourselves, we will never experience that we can and that we are capable of overcoming challenges on our own . We experience ourselves as dependent and dependent – and according to our ideal we would probably like to be the opposite.
3. Avoiding fearful situations
Fear is basically a useful emotion that can protect us from danger and inconvenience. However, if we get used to always avoiding everything that scares us, we can never experience that we can master challenging situations and are more resilient than we might think – because for this we sometimes have to find the courage to face our fears defy The more we allow ourselves to be guided by our fears, the lower our self-efficacy usually becomes and we increasingly feel trapped. And certainly we do not correspond to our image of the person we would like to be.
4. Giving up
It doesn’t always make sense to doggedly see through to the end – sometimes it’s wise to let go and turn away from a goal. However, if we give up something we set out to do over and over again because it’s going to be a little harder than we thought, we forget what it feels like to complete something and reach a goal. This in turn will weaken our motivation in the long term. Also, constant giving up leads us to perceive ourselves as incapable – which we certainly don’t want to be.
5. Procrastination
Hasty action, decision-making and planning is often a waste of energy, as some things will take care of themselves or circumstances change in such a way that a premature organization becomes obsolete. However, if we always sit out everything until it is no longer possible or even too late to act, while we may still be dealing with it in our heads the whole time, we train ourselves to be energetic and decisive – two qualities that we have Shaping ourselves and our identity to a large extent. We are becoming increasingly insecure and hesitant, allowing ourselves to be guided by fate instead of helping to shape it ourselves. Certainly not something we wish for ourselves.
6. Saying yes when you want to say no
Most people say yes more easily than no because we all feel the need to agree, connect, and understand with others. However, in order to maintain our individual boundaries and identities, it is sometimes necessary for us to say no – and more often than not, when we succeed, it gives us a feeling of independence and security. On the other hand, we renounce this feeling, we always say yes to everything. In our perception, we become a person without any interests of our own or a person who cannot assert their interests. And who would wish for themselves to be such a person?
Source used: psychologytoday.com