psychology
6 questions we, good friends, should ask more often
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Psychology: With good friends: inside you talk about everything and nothing. But especially if you don’t see each other that often, you quickly sink into small talk. No more: our friends really deserve these questions – and we deserve their answers.
Good friends: at some point we know almost as well as ourselves. At least that’s what we mean. When we have been friends for many years, our brain likes to play tricks on us. We think we have the same person as we did 20 years ago – only that he: she has certainly developed just as much as we do. And then suddenly we are there and the: the best friend: in seems strange to us.
That doesn’t happen that seldom – and it’s hardly surprising either. Everyday life is not only a stress test for romantic relationships, but also in friendships the habit creeps in over the years. And suddenly you just talk about the same things. The job and how stressful it is. The old friend from back then and what has become of her. And the new recipe that we tried. What we do not notice is that we are moving away from each other, although we see each other regularly.
We’re still talking. We just don’t ask anymore. In the fast pace of adult life, the dynamics of friendship inevitably change. Meetings are becoming rarer, topics more superficial. How can you avoid that? How do you manage to continue talking tall instead of small – and not become alienated in everyday life? By asking the questions that you may have asked 100 times. Because the answers to them may have changed – just like our friend: in themselves.
6 questions that good friends have earned time and again
How are you really doing
When things have to be done quickly, we rarely answer honestly when asked how we are. Anyone who inquires signals that they want to take their time – and that they are genuinely interested.
How do you get along with it actually?
The bereavement, the move, the dismissal, the diagnosis … in our life we inevitably encounter some upheavals. In the acute phase, friends are always there, but that cuts can and may change your life in the long term, but one often forgets and concentrates on continuing. If we ask after a while, we offer our friends space and the feeling of being there for them even during the processing phase.
What keeps you up at night What are you afraid of?
We all know them, the spirals of brooding at dawn. What is it that is robbing your friend of sleep inside right now? Together we can get out of the labyrinth of thoughts more easily.
Am I currently a: e good: r friend: in?
Metacommunication is the keyword here. It is worth talking about friendship itself from time to time. Because our needs also change over time.
Are you happy?
Am i still on the right track? Am I really living my life or one according to the ideas of my parents, my partner: in or in my childhood ideal? This small question can be the door opener for big issues.
Do we want to go on vacation together?
A vacation with friends: inside can be so good! When was the last time you spent so much time together? Experience new things together, talk about everything that goes down in everyday life or just keep quiet again. A trip is the best way to recharge your batteries together.