psychology
This is the best way to respond to unfriendly people
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Do you react grumpily to snotty conversation partners? Better not: We reveal what you can do instead.
Oh yes, there are those people who simply radiate an aura of resentment. Whether it’s the morning grouch in the office who doesn’t say a friendly word before lunch break, the grumpy grandmother from the apartment next door or the constantly annoyed family member – with some people communication is just not fun.
Unfortunately, as is so often the case, you may not be able to change your counterpart. And responding to the provocation and backbiting rarely has a constructive effect. We reveal how you deal with difficult conversation partners instead.
6 strategies to deal with unkind people
1. Try to understand
Sounds pretty stupid at first. But it often helps to curb your own anger at the snotty come-on. Who knows what just happened to the:other? Maybe the cashier at the supermarket had to skip her break because she was so busy; maybe the colleague has an important meeting coming up and that’s why he’s so tense. Or your counterpart is just having a bad day – happens! Which brings us to point 2…
2. Don’t take it personally
Of course, this advice applies especially to people you don’t know or only know slightly. You don’t really care about the barista in the coffee shop or the grumpy bus driver – they probably don’t care about you either. So, if they take their anger out on you: it’s best to forget it right away.
3. Think: What do you want?
It’s inevitable, but you know you have to go and talk to that one person? Make a plan beforehand! Confronting a bad-tempered person is easier if you have carefully considered what you want beforehand. If the conversation drifts, always come back to it – very factually.
4. Answer option A: “I understand you”
Even if it’s difficult: signal compassion to the other person. In the best case scenario, you take away the target for him. If you have different opinions, make it clear that these are possibly subjective assessments: “I recognize your opinion” or “I can understand that you are dissatisfied”.
5. Body language
Crossed arms or a body turned away indicate rejection. With a relaxed posture and by “mimicking” the other person’s gestures, you are subliminally sending positive signals. Because: When we like someone, we often unconsciously imitate their movements. This doesn’t mean wild gestures, of course, but rest your elbows on the table, touch your hair, cross your legs…
6. Response option B: “Bye!”
With all understanding – you don’t have to put up with everything. For example, if you are a customer or in your own family: Your conversation partner cannot afford everything. And especially when tempers are very heated, it can sometimes help to resolve the situation. The nice way (“I think I’ll be back later”) or the hard way (“I don’t want to have the conversation that way – for me, the dialogue is over here”).
And it’s best to always remember: one of you two is already in a bad mood. It would be a shame if you let yourself be infected by it – in the end, instead of one person, only two people are in a bad mood.