Involved in our daily routine, over time we may find our life flat and dull instead of intense and stimulating. With not too much effort, however, we can bring more vitality into our everyday life – if we want to.
In everyday life, some people sometimes get the feeling that they are just living for themselves. That they keep taking one step after the next, like on a chain, without contributing particularly much to their path in life – and without experiencing intense moments. Often this feeling does not arise because something is going completely wrong, but rather because something is going smoothly: after all, being able to progress at a constant pace usually means that there are few obstacles in the way and no battles to be fought. Still, feeling apathetic and pushed forward isn’t what most people want from a successful life.
According to psychologist Juliana Breines, the following measures can help us to feel more alive in our everyday life – without having to throw ourselves into existential struggles.
6 ways to make you feel more alive
1. Do something because you really want to
Most of the time, our everyday lives are made up of a never-ending series of actions that serve a specific purpose: we work to earn money, go shopping to have food at home, meet up with friends to nurture our relationships. With all these actions (especially when meeting up with friends), we may feel like doing them at the exact moment they are due or scheduled – but often that is more by chance than the primary reason we do them. As a result of this predominantly purposeful action, over time we can feel controlled or driven and lose the sense of self-determination and independence that makes us feel alive.
If we do something every now and then because we want to and spontaneously feel like doing it, it can awaken our sense of being alive again. Go out for fries at 4:30 p.m. because we’re craving them at the moment and postpone the couscous and vegetable pan planned for dinner until tomorrow. A visit to the cinema at short notice because the trailer particularly appealed to us at that moment. First do task C instead of task A at work because the former seems more interesting to us now.
By turning our impulses and needs into actions, we validate them and give ourselves feedback that they and their source – ourselves – are important and real. We sometimes need this feedback to feel that we are alive.
2. Stand up for your beliefs
In social situations, many people usually take the simplest, most energy-saving route: say yes, keep dissenting opinions to yourself, conceal uncomfortable views or needs. Understandable, because that avoids conflicts and often even brings sympathy points. However, this strategy is not necessarily suitable for feeling alive.
Studies suggest that people with what scientists call an “authentic inner compass” perceive their lives as more intense and meaningful, meaning they feel more alive than others. These people stand up for their values and beliefs, express their individual views and positions, even if it takes effort and energy.
Of course, it’s not always worth being honest about what we think. But doing it every now and then strengthens our sense of existence, invigorates us and our passion, feels stimulating and good.
3. Let a lively environment affect you
A walk through the park or the forest. A stroll through an area with busy restaurants or lots of happy people. Maybe listening to music that stimulates your feelings, or listening carefully to the noises around you. According to scientific research, going outside and being aware of life around us can make us feel our own aliveness more intensely.
Becoming aware of the incredible wonder we are a part of – the wonderful possibility of life on this planet and its incredible manifestation into countless species and individuals – can give us a feeling of contentment and fulfillment that puts our usual everyday life into perspective and reminds us how alive we are.
4. Focus on something challenging that you’re good at
If we take the time and concentrate fully on an activity that challenges us and in which we are also practiced – for example painting, writing, making music, dancing, playing – we can, with luck, get into the so-called flow. In this state we become absorbed in what we are doing and no longer notice what is happening around us and how time is passing. If we experience such a flow, we usually feel more alive and sympathetic than, for example, when watching a series or multi-tasking due to the brain activity that occurs.
5. Doing another person a favor
As soon as we help another person, give them something or just wish them something good, we become a little happier – this has been proven by several studies. At the same time, such an action makes us feel more alive and validated in our existence, as we experience that we can have an impact and make a positive contribution. In this respect, a favor towards another person can strengthen our sense of vitality – as long as we don’t overdo it and people pleasing is part of our everyday life. If we have a firm habit of doing something good for other people, the invigorating effect wears off and we tend to feel more dependent and controlled by it. It is therefore important that we always make a conscious decision about who we are doing something for and why.
6. Break your routine
First times in our lives often become memories that last too long, because we experience them extraordinarily intensely and they make us feel alive. In order to experience first times, we occasionally have to put aside our habits and try something new. Traveling to an unfamiliar place, reading a book about a subject or time we know nothing about, trying a cuisine we’ve never tasted. At the edge of our comfort zone, we learn a lot – and feel particularly alive.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, Michael Kunze and Silvia Jelincic: “The Happiness Compass: All the world’s knowledge about happiness in one book”