As an introvert, it is sometimes not that easy in our society. But maybe you already know that – from your own experience …
An introvert is like being shy. A bit reserved and withdrawn.
This is what most people think of being introverted, especially those who are not introverted themselves. However, this description doesn’t really apply at all. What being an introvert means – and what it really feels like.
This description is a bit better: Dealing with others costs introverts energy, recharge and relax is best done on your own.
That doesn’t mean that introverts don’t need social contact, on the contrary. They thoroughly enjoy spending time with others and are usually very compassionate, understanding, and sensitive. But afterwards they tend to be exhausted and need their beloved me-time again, while extroverts can go straight to the next date.
Understood? Probably not! Therefore, here are seven problems that many introverts should know very well, that can give everyone else a rough idea of how introvertedness affects the life and everyday life of the person concerned – and perhaps help them to better understand their introverted fellow human beings …
If you know these problems, you are probably an introvert
1. Actively integrating is not your thing
From work straight to afterwork with your colleagues and then home to a friend? For introverts the absolute horror concept! Maybe on a Friday when the weekend (storm) is free, but rarely during the week. Even introverts are not so reluctant to spend their lunch break to themselves, because alone they can recharge their batteries for the afternoon better than with many a lunch date. This tendency of introverts to isolate itself is never meant to be mean, nor does it mean that they dislike others, it just makes them seem a bit strange to some …
2. You struggle with spontaneity
Announcements like “I’ll come over tomorrow afternoon! “ or “Let’s go have a drink right now! “means one thing above all for introverts: stress. Most prefer fixed appointments that they can prepare for and plan – including the relaxation me-time afterwards.
3. You are often overlooked
Has someone been forgotten? Yep, probably the most introverted. Introverts make themselves comparatively rare, so they are not always so present to others. Admittedly, this is often less of a problem than an advantage for introverts …
4. You seldom have your say
Of course, anyone who is friends with someone who is introverted knows what makes them tick and will respond to them and ensure that they have their say. But introverts find it difficult to assert themselves against strangers or only casual acquaintances. It is exhausting enough for them to be there and absorb everything. Often there is not enough strength to fight for attention – or to endure it.
5. You seem strange and aloof at times
The crazy thing is: small talk and superficial contact are no problem at all for many introverts. But as soon as things get more serious and people get too close to them too quickly, they become insecure and withdraw. Introverts only allow a few people to really get to grips with themselves for a long-term, close relationship. Perhaps because they instinctively know that there are too many people in their lives that will overwhelm them anyway and that they could never do justice to everyone – especially not themselves.
6. You often need excuses to cancel
“Tomorrow I can’t, because unfortunately I already have an appointment today, so I need time for myself tomorrow.“Sounds strange? But it isn’t, at least not for an introvert. But because many are aware that some would find such a reason for rejection strange, introverts often talk their way out of it. That in turn usually causes them a guilty conscience, brings them out of the concept and leads to them not feeling good, and all because as introverts they (have to) fear being honest.
7. You usually lose out in arguments
It’s great to argue with introverts – because they usually give in. For many introverts, arguments are the horror because they have to do whatever strains them the most: make themselves heard, put their interests first, show feelings, open up to others and get close to them. Then better back off and have some peace and quiet …
Granted, it might seem a little bit like introverts are insecure or unhappy, but that’s not the case! Of course, they can be just as happy and at peace with themselves as any extroverted person, and most of them also enjoy and cultivate their relationships with a lot of love and feeling. But just as extroverts can find it difficult to be alone without feeling lonely and worthless, for example, introverts face challenges that are difficult for them. The most important thing is that we learn to accept and love each other for who we are. After all, there is no such thing as a perfectly adapted, finished person. But let’s be honest: who wanted that …?
Video tip: 7 signs you don’t love yourself enough