Our inner critic can get pretty loud. These seven signs suggest that you should turn yours down a bit.
Being able to reflect on yourself is an important skill. We all make mistakes, and if we know how to recognize them, we can learn from them and grow from them. However, many of us have internalized this attitude a little too much. Because we are often overly harsh on ourselves. We belittle ourselves internally for not being perfect.
But what level of self-criticism is appropriate and when are we being too hard on ourselves? There are some signs that your inner critic is working overtime again.
These 7 signs indicate that you are too hard on yourself
1. You take no risks
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can’t really do anything with this saying. Because you always see your own mistakes through a magnifying glass, the risk of making them is always too great for you. Applying for a big new project at work that could really help you? Better not, you could fail. Going on the trip you’ve been wanting to do for a long time alone? Better not, something could go wrong.
Of course, it is good and important to weigh up risks sensibly. But if the fear of making mistakes stops us from realizing our dreams, then we are clearly being too hard on ourselves.
2. You are very reserved with your opinion
Don’t say anything wrong! You prefer to hold back completely for fear of saying something stupid or boring. And that even applies to topics that you actually know a lot about. Another unmistakable sign that you are too self-critical. Because other people are usually never as harsh on us as we are on ourselves. Firstly, because they are usually just as preoccupied with themselves as we are, and secondly because they simply don’t think it’s as bad as we think when others make a mistake.
3. You blame yourself for everything
No matter what happens, do you always look for the fault in yourself first? As I said: Being able to reflect on yourself and your mistakes is healthy and important. But it’s very likely that you won’t always be to blame for everything. Whether it’s an argument with your girlfriend or a botched group project at work: you’ll probably have contributed to the problem – just like the other people. But if you always immediately assume that everything bad is your fault, then you should take a closer look.
4. You take everything very personally
Your girlfriend cancels a meeting or doesn’t respond to your message? You immediately feel attacked and assume that she is angry with you. You ask yourself what you did wrong again. Quick reality check: In most cases, neither the cancellation of your meeting nor the lack of response have anything to do with you. Probably something just came up and/or she is having a stressful day. But the fact that you take these things so personally shows how insecure and self-critical you are.
5. You can’t be happy about success
No matter how well things are going for you, you find it difficult to be really happy about it. The fear that you will still make a mistake or that someone will criticize your success is too great. And what’s more, the slightest joy about something you have achieved immediately leads to thoughts of things that didn’t go well. If you only ever see your mistakes and can’t celebrate your successes, you should take a closer look at your inner critic.
6. You don’t like to ask for help
You clearly see asking someone for help as a sign of weakness. After all, you should be able to do it on your own! If you are afraid of admitting that you can’t do something or at least need support, it is probably because you are very hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with needing help. After all, nobody can do everything. But that has nothing to do with your worth as a person.
7. You don’t handle criticism well
Criticism is part of life. In relationships, at work or in completely different situations – if we do something wrong, we have to be able to accept it. People whose inner critic is very active often cannot accept negative feedback well. At first glance it may seem as if they are overly self-confident and full of themselves. But in reality, a lack of ability to accept criticism is often a sign that we are very hard on ourselves.
Source used: psychologytoday.com