We surround ourselves with many people in our lives – but not all of them are automatically good for us. How do I distinguish between energy donors and energy robbers?
Over the course of my life I have made a number of acquaintances. Some have been with us since childhood, others we meet with the new job, some develop into real friendships, others remain superficial. Both are fine. But sometimes there are relationships in our lives that we have had for so long that we no longer question them – and if we do, we are no longer entirely sure what they actually give us. On the other hand, from time to time we meet a person who fills us with so much energy, even though we haven’t known him/her for long.
What I mean by this is that the length of the connection with another person does not necessarily say anything about the quality. Rather, some relationships are simply good for us, while other contacts leave us feeling drained. However, distinguishing between them is not that easy in everyday life if you don’t look very closely. But once you become aware of who is really good for you and surround yourself more with these people, you can go through life with much more energy.
8 signs that a person is really good for you
1. You sit back
Pay attention to your posture when you are around a person. It often unconsciously says a lot about how we feel. Are you sitting upright or leaning back? Are your shoulders tense or relaxed? Some people’s bodies are better at letting go than others – they’re good for us.
2. You don’t have to perform
And in order for us to sit back and relax, we need security. The really good relationships in our lives are the ones in which we don’t feel any pressure to perform, but rather know that we can just be who we are. And when we are tired, we are liked when we are tired. No forced smiles, no hidden yawns.
3. You don’t need any entertainment program
There’s nothing like a good evening on the couch. With a glass of wine and long conversations – or just a cup of cocoa and a few films. With some people we can just as well be silent, we don’t need any entertainment program, we can just “be” together and we’ll feel better.
4. You dare to speak your darkest thoughts – and they do
The give and take in relationships also refers to what you reveal about yourself. And when one person starts to open up, the other usually does too. By the way, an honest answer to the question “How are you?” become a door opener. With the right people you don’t have to worry about being judged.
5. They ask
It sounds banal, but it’s often overlooked these days: people who are really interested in you ask questions. They remember the things that are important to you and want to know what’s going on in your life.
6. Your boundaries are accepted
Are you under a lot of stress right now – or not, but just no time? You can just say that to the right person, whether in a friendship or relationship. And they will understand. If a person almost never makes you feel guilty, he:she probably accepts your boundaries – and you never have to justify anything.
7. Nothing changes between you
A friend is moving abroad. You haven’t seen someone else for months, even though you live in the same city. Simply because life got in the way. With real friendships you realize that it is not the quantity but the quality that maintains the relationship with each other. The best feeling is that nothing changes between people, even though you are always developing yourself – and strengthening each other in the process.
8. “You are fully charged!”
With the right people everything feels so easy! Actually, even a little introspection after the meeting shows whether the person is good for us: if we don’t feel drained, but rather completely recharged and loved. And because this feeling is so beautiful, we resolve to dedicate more time in our lives to the people who trigger it in us.