Psychology: 8 good reasons to annoy others

Do you know the feeling of being exhausting for others? Fear of annoying others? to be too much? Then we can tell you: keep it up. At least if you have good reasons.

I annoy you because you are important to me!

The father who is being bugged about finally going to the doctor because he hasn’t been feeling well for a long time. The girlfriend who is in a bad relationship and just doesn’t see it. The brother who doesn’t have his finances under control, the sister who urgently needs to take care of her retirement. And you yourself, who: who has a lot to talk about right now, but doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Topics that we all know and have probably already experienced.

Especially when it comes to the people we love, we find it difficult to see them unhappy and we worry about them. The greater the love, the greater the need to want to help. Logical, right? And yes, some may think: not my problem or, he or she has grown up, he or she must know that themselves – especially when our counterpart is not at all willing to change something. Others may find it offensive to be persistent about certain issues. But I ask myself: if nobody opens their mouths anymore, where is the headwind that brings change coming from? And isn’t it also part of wanting to be close?

Then I say nothing more? But!

Yes, it’s exhausting and exhausting and clear, often not our problem either, or else we have the feeling that we’ve said everything a hundred times before. But still: if something or someone means a lot to us, shouldn’t we always dare to be a nuisance? Of course, some topics require sensitivity and sometimes a lot of discussions, attempts and also the courage to endure frustration. But it’s much worse to have known better and in the end perhaps to think: If only I had… Doesn’t it sometimes take 100 kicks in the ass to sit on the seat of your pants? And aren’t there topics that are so important that they should be addressed again and again? Topics like this?

We shouldn’t let ourselves be turned away on these issues

1. Finance

No matter what level, money is always a major issue. At work, in a partnership, in families, maybe even among friends. Standing up for decent pay at work is one of those levels where we should be a lot more annoying. Likewise, when we feel like things are going completely wrong in our relationship financially. Even if it’s uncomfortable, looking away only makes it worse. But what can help is to look for solutions together and encourage each other, for example by preparing the salary interview together.

2. Retirement plan

Puhhh, just as difficult because the hurdle seems so big to take care of it in time, simply because the beginning seems as complicated as it actually is. But in the end it’s just important if you don’t want to spend your old age in poverty. A big issue, especially for women. So constant dripping wears away the stone and excuses don’t count here.

3. Health

When loved ones don’t take care of their health, it often triggers great helplessness. Of course you can’t force anyone to go to the doctor and it feels like a fight against windmills to always be that annoying voice in your ear, but giving up is not an option when we care about others. Be annoying or not. Here you definitely don’t want to regret not having done or said something.

4. The relationships of others

The girlfriend is in a relationship that doesn’t fit back and forth? All the world sees that, only she herself holds on to it adamantly? Maybe it’s even worse and the: the partner is manipulative or even violent? Then don’t stop annoying boss! The worst thing is looking away, not saying anything anymore or even ending the friendship. Because where is the strength supposed to come from to detach oneself when the one has the feeling of being all alone in the end?

5. Reinsurance

There are moments when there’s a weird vibe in the air that we can’t quite grasp. Maybe we had a fight with our best friend or our partner, maybe we are insecure because the other one is behaving strangely or have had a stupid day, hormone chaos or simply slept badly: there are days when we hear want everything to be ok and if not, that we can work it out, even if it’s annoying or feels like it’s too much. No, we are not! Someone who loves us can take it.

6. Needs

There is room for your own needs, even if it annoys others. It’s okay to voice them. In the end, this is the only way we can get to know each other fully and be seen. And if you need something urgently and don’t want to harm anyone, keep bugging them until you get it.

7. Fear

Some have too much of it, others not enough. In any case, one thing is true: it is not rational. If we are afraid of something, or of someone, we should be allowed to say so. Even if it might annoy you – after all, you don’t choose to be afraid. In the best case, you can find a way together to put them in their place.

8. Love

Is there too much love? If you feel like your love is annoying the other person, then you should ask yourself if he:she is the right person to be by your side. Because love is maybe the only thing that should never be annoying.

I accept that you can’t right now

Bothering others about important issues is one thing, accepting when it’s enough, when each other’s limits have been reached, and where we should perhaps pause and give space to let things sink is another. It’s not about forcing something, nor about taking responsibility for someone who is grown up, or even taking something away from him/her. It’s more about raising awareness and staying in touch. Sometimes it takes time to get the little nuisance out again later. But it is always important to respect the boundaries of the other, to be sensitive, even if it is difficult, but also to dare to be uncomfortable.

Bridget

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