Psychology: It’s such a thing with self-confidence – we all strive for it, but only achieve it with difficulty. Why don’t we help each other?
Self-consciousness. From childhood we learn to walk confidently through the world. Most of all, the term literally means giving yourself special care or attention. In reality, however, we associate much more with it, namely an awareness of our own worth.
But in everyday life it is not that easy to always take care of yourself, to stand up for yourself and – well – to walk confidently through the world. Rather, we are constantly confronted with new challenges that can certainly make us feel insecure. What helps us with this is the belief that we can grow in them, endure them, and emerge stronger from them. What doesn’t help are comparisons.
From the outside, other people often seem much more self-confident than we do. The colleague carries the new fashion trend with flying colors, while we are still afraid of attracting attention. The friend masters the presentation without a spark of excitement, we have sleepless nights. And the best friend knocks out 20 percent more at the salary negotiation after we haven’t even dared to ask for more money. That’s the tricky thing about a lack of self-confidence: It doesn’t exactly encourage us, but rather tells us that others would do better.
That’s why we’re here. Everyone, no matter how strong they may appear, experiences phases of uncertainty in the course of their lives. That is completely normal and human. When we know that, we can stop putting each other on pedestals – and rather fight together. By brushing up on each other’s self-esteem when we need it.
We don’t become more self-confident overnight. Rather, we can constantly give ourselves a little self-confidence boost by saying certain sentences to ourselves a lot more often. They may sound obvious, but they are not – because they have a subconscious effect.
Would you like an example? With these eight sentences we can strengthen each other’s self-confidence in everyday life.
8 sentences that make us more confident
“I understand that”
The devil of low self-esteem sits on your shoulder and whispers to us that we would certainly be wrong. Exaggerate with emotions. Too much to worry about. The three simple words “I understand that” subconsciously create our own legitimation for our behavior: I’m right.
“You’re absolutely right”
In discussions there is nothing wrong with changing your mind – if the other person has changed our minds. And being right likes to hear our self-confidence.
“You can feel that way”
Why am I so nervous and others not? Why does it make me sad when other people are totally cool with it? Any feeling is allowed. And if we forbid ourselves to do so, it is good to hear these words from outside.
“That is not a matter of course”
Our talents. What we do for others. How we react in certain moments. All of these things make us who we are, but we often take them for granted. If someone does something that we think is good and outstanding, we can: tell her that.
“I admire your work”
Appreciation is the keyword here too. One of your best friends is an architect, you don’t understand a single line of her drafts and just watch in a fascinating way as she designs an entire house? Just tell her that you admire her! Incidentally, this also applies to your colleague, who is a mother, who, in addition to everyday work, does a household and raise children on her own. Hats off. A little praise never hurts.
“Thanks for sharing this with me”
We like to keep uncertainties to ourselves. It is so relieving to get rid of them – and so empowering to say that they will be heard.
“Can we talk about it again together?”
Above all, there’s an “I need your opinion” in it, and that’s a really nice compliment. It shows that we value the people in front of us with their opinions – and that they: they enrich our lives.
“Your point of view helped me a lot”
Do you know those conversations with people after which everything is clearer to you? Who showed you a whole new perspective – and really brought you further? Out with it. It is balm for the soul to hear that you have helped others. And self-confidence increases by three points. Jackpot!